Fighting Fundies since 1984

Ok, so to preface this post, I want to turn your attention to the illustrious Fred Phelps, if you haven't already heard of him. His various websites include www.godhatesfags.com, godhatesamerica.com, and godhatessweden.com. This man is BEYOND what I affectionately call "fundie" principles. The following is an email that I sent to the "Westboro Baptist Church" I put the title in quotes because, as far as I know, no real church of any kind would support the kind of hatemongering whackjob beliefs that Phelps and his family's "church" preach. Please note that much of this e-mail is intentionally tongue-in-cheek. Enjoy.

Hello.

I am a Swedish Jew. And a woman. So yes, I know, I'm going to hell,
according to your principles. I am curious, however, who is NOT going
to hell, then? If I am correct, according to what I have found at your
site, the following kinds of people are going to hell:

Gays/Lesbians
Americans


Now, if we expand that and look at it further, we see that that pretty
much leaves no one except for members of the Westboro Baptist Church
who are going to heaven, because the reason Americans are going to
hell is because they live in a country that supports gays, which are
considered an abomination according to the Bible. So, we can infer
then that non-believers are also going to hell, which would include
anyone who does not strictly adhere to the doctrine of Fred Phelps
and/or the Westboro Baptist Church. Therefore we can safely assume
that all peoples of other religions/beliefs, even within Protestant
Christianity, are doomed to the fiery depths of hell. This would mean
that approximately 4.4 billion people (at least) are most assuredly
going to hell (this is based on my research of how many people
identify with various belief systems throughout the world.
Christianity in all its variations comes in with around 1.6 billion
followers worldwide).Am I correct so far?

So, another question I have is, if you hate gays and America, in turn,
for "supporting" gays, then why are you still here? I mean, it's a
free country, after all---you can leave at any time and I'm sure no
one will mind too much. Now don't get me wrong, I am all for you
having your right to free speech---so I'm not about to tell you to
shut up. I really could care less, you see. I'm just curious. I mean,
America is basically an abyss of perverted nutjob sinners, so why
stay? How about Canada? You could move to Russia, too,
perhaps--Siberia is pretty deserted so there's no risk of crazy
fag-lovers there!

Oh, and about your stance on "Bloody Butcher Bush": shouldn't you be
praising him? I mean, your site clearly states that you wish the
numbers of dead soldiers in Iraq were exponentially higher than they
currently are, so shouldn't you be thanking Bush for sending the evil
fag perverts over to get killed? Call me crazy but I'd be dancing
around a bonfire chanting his name if I were you. Alas, I'm just a
stupid Swedish Jewish woman. What would I know?

Sincerely,

A tree-hugging-liberal-feminist-queer
ally-troop-supporting-America-loving-Swedish-Jewish-patriotic-flag-waving-WOMAN