I had an interesting conversation with my friend, Elya, yesterday. He called me on the phone to chat because we hadn't talked in quite some time, and we ended up talking for well over 3 hours! No, no, don't get the wedding invitations ready just yet! Elya is a dear friend, and someone I look up to for guidance when I am studying Torah.
Elya is also someone I can confide in without fear of judgment; he knows things about me that most people will never know. He is a baal tshuva (is that right? my terminology is horrendous, my apologies!), born to Jewish parents but raised with no Jewish identity. I'll save you all my story, you can read it here.
Anyway, the other evening we were on the phone with one another, studying the Book of Daniel in depth and I was asking him some questions because my History of Judaism class had recently discussed this book of the Bible and I wanted to get some further insight and clarification from him.
Before that, however, we had to catch up on one another's lives over the past couple of weeks, as we had both been busy and unable to be in touch. He asked me how my conversion was going, how school was going, etc. I told him how I have been feeling lately, how I seem to be at somewhat of a standstill (with the conversion process) even though I am studying on my own and learning as much as possible. Elya being the great friend and kind soul that he is, picked up on the fact that I was feeling down and a bit discouraged. I confided to him that yes, I was feeling low, because lately I have been feeling as though I don't exactly "fit in" with my more religious friends. Don't get me wrong, I love them dearly and I am grateful to have them in my life, but there are certain things that I don't think they'd ever quite understand about me. Maybe that's not fair, maybe they would, but the truth is that I'm too scared to tell them because I am afraid they will judge me. They are all FFB's, and while I know that doesn't mean that they are perfect by any means, it does color their view on the world and the experiences they've had within it. Elya knows my past, knows what I've been through--my struggles and my pain--and he embraces me for it and doesn't tell me that I am ever wrong, he simply guides me to something that will help me when I ask him to, or listens when all I want is to vent. He's not perfect, either. He's had a rough life, and yet, he is one of the most compassionate and warm people you will ever meet.
Anyway, after confiding to him how I felt, he decided to tell me a bit of wisdom that the Lubavitcher Rebbe (may he rest in peace) once said in regards to those doing tshuva. He told me that the Rebbe said (now don't quote me on this, I'm taking it from what Elya told me so I could be a bit off here) that someone doing tshuva is like an oil lamp. The flame is what's burning, what the person's soul is, that is becoming ever brighter with the study of Judaism and the devotion to G-d and His Torah. The oxygen that helps keep the flame from going out is G-d and the embracing of Torah, the ever-increasing knowledge and happiness from learning. But what keeps the flame burning from beneath? The oil surrounding the wick, which represents the person's past, their life experiences, what they bring with them as they enter their journey towards Torah observance.
So, Elya said, do not be ashamed of where you have been and what you have done, because that is the fuel that keeps your fire burning. You have a gift that others do not have; you know what life is like without Torah, and can in turn appreciate it that much more as you come to know it.
I cannot express in words how much hearing this lifted my spirits. I am so grateful to have a friend like Elya in my life, who can help me learn and grow in my Judaism, and keep me motivated when I feel like I'm faltering. All thanks and praise to G-d, for all of the gifts he has bestowed upon me. I am so blessed.
-Hila
Monday, February 26, 2007
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
I'm a liberal, but still...this pushes my buttons...
This is from an e-mail that my father sent me. I have debated about whether I should post it but I decided that what the heck, I can say what I want and no one else has to agree with me. Normally, I am pretty liberal. I'm a compassionate person, I do what I can to help people--in fact I've been told all my life that I'm "too nice." But this irks me.
I suppose it's because I grew up the daughter of an immigrant parent, one who came to this country LEGALLY, learned the language, and eventually became a citizen.
The e-mail is in italics, my comments are in regular font.
This certainly puts it in perspective!
Let's say I break into your house
A lady wrote the best letter in the Editorials in ages!!!
It explains things better than all the baloney you hear on TV.
Her point:
Recently large demonstrations have taken place across the country,
protesting the fact that Congress is finally addressing the issue of
illegal immigration (actually, they aren't illegal immigrants; the word immigrant implies that you came here legally and they didn't ; the correct term is illegal alien).
Certain people are angry that the US might protect its own borders, might
make it harder to sneak into this country and, once here, to stay
indefinitely.
Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these protests.
Let's say I break into your house.
Let's say that when you discover me in your house, you insist that I leave.
But I say, "I've made all the beds and washed the dishes and did the laundry and swept the floors. I've done all the things you don't like to do. I'm hard working and honest (except for when I broke into your house).
According to the protesters:
· You are Required to let me stay in your house
· You are Required to add me to your family's insurance plan
· You are Required to Educate my kids
· You are Required to Provide other benefits to me and to my family
(my husband will do all of your yard work because he is also hard-working
and honest, except for that breaking in part).
If you try to call the police or force me out, I will call my friends who
will picket your house carrying signs that proclaim my RIGHT to be there.
It's only fair, after all, because you have a nicer house than I do, and
I'm just trying to better myself.
I'm a hard-working and honest, person, except for well, you know, I did
break into your house.
And what a deal it is for me!!!
I live in your house, contributing only a fraction of the cost of my keep,
and there is nothing you can do about it without being accused of cold,
uncaring, selfish, prejudiced, and bigoted behavior.
Oh yeah, and I DEMAND that you to learn MY LANGUAGE!!! So you can
communicate with me.
Why can't people see how ridiculous this is?! Only in America...
Feel free to comment and put your 2 cents in!
I suppose it's because I grew up the daughter of an immigrant parent, one who came to this country LEGALLY, learned the language, and eventually became a citizen.
The e-mail is in italics, my comments are in regular font.
This certainly puts it in perspective!
Let's say I break into your house
A lady wrote the best letter in the Editorials in ages!!!
It explains things better than all the baloney you hear on TV.
Her point:
Recently large demonstrations have taken place across the country,
protesting the fact that Congress is finally addressing the issue of
illegal immigration (actually, they aren't illegal immigrants; the word immigrant implies that you came here legally and they didn't ; the correct term is illegal alien).
Certain people are angry that the US might protect its own borders, might
make it harder to sneak into this country and, once here, to stay
indefinitely.
Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these protests.
Let's say I break into your house.
Let's say that when you discover me in your house, you insist that I leave.
But I say, "I've made all the beds and washed the dishes and did the laundry and swept the floors. I've done all the things you don't like to do. I'm hard working and honest (except for when I broke into your house).
According to the protesters:
· You are Required to let me stay in your house
· You are Required to add me to your family's insurance plan
· You are Required to Educate my kids
· You are Required to Provide other benefits to me and to my family
(my husband will do all of your yard work because he is also hard-working
and honest, except for that breaking in part).
If you try to call the police or force me out, I will call my friends who
will picket your house carrying signs that proclaim my RIGHT to be there.
It's only fair, after all, because you have a nicer house than I do, and
I'm just trying to better myself.
I'm a hard-working and honest, person, except for well, you know, I did
break into your house.
And what a deal it is for me!!!
I live in your house, contributing only a fraction of the cost of my keep,
and there is nothing you can do about it without being accused of cold,
uncaring, selfish, prejudiced, and bigoted behavior.
Oh yeah, and I DEMAND that you to learn MY LANGUAGE!!! So you can
communicate with me.
Why can't people see how ridiculous this is?! Only in America...
Feel free to comment and put your 2 cents in!
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Please pray...
I took this information from a Facebook group that my former roommate (and dear friend) started. It is for her cousin, Luke Kinsella.
I don't know all of the details, just what was on the site. They are asking for prayers, and I figured that if I put the word out maybe God would get our message just a little bit louder. It can't hurt.
Hello Everyone. As some of you may know, my cousin Luke was admitted to Children's Hospital on 1/30/07. On 1/31/07, he underwent a bone marrow biopsy and spinal tap and received his first chemotherapy treatments. From these tests, the doctors determined Luke has pre-B cell acute lymphocytic leukemia (ALL).
You may not know him personally or me either but all that we are asking is that you pray for him. Luke is a 3 year old boy who lives in Minooka, IL and was diagnosed the day after his birthday. Please keep him in your prayers Thank You.
I don't know all of the details, just what was on the site. They are asking for prayers, and I figured that if I put the word out maybe God would get our message just a little bit louder. It can't hurt.
Hello Everyone. As some of you may know, my cousin Luke was admitted to Children's Hospital on 1/30/07. On 1/31/07, he underwent a bone marrow biopsy and spinal tap and received his first chemotherapy treatments. From these tests, the doctors determined Luke has pre-B cell acute lymphocytic leukemia (ALL).
You may not know him personally or me either but all that we are asking is that you pray for him. Luke is a 3 year old boy who lives in Minooka, IL and was diagnosed the day after his birthday. Please keep him in your prayers Thank You.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!...Or, why I *strongly dislike* my University
So most of you folkies out there have probably already shlepped your kiddies off to school and have heard the weather reports for those of us who live where the weather is, how shall I say, not so kind in the winter. Where I live we have winds blowing North at upwards of 25 m.p.h. and have already seen 5 inches of snowfall since last night. The temperature (without windchill factor) is 20 degrees Farenheit. There is a Winter Storm Warning in effect (um, DUH). And that's just what the Weather Channel says. Now let me give you the weather report as seen from my dorm room window:
Icicles have formed on my window---how does that happen? My window is a FLAT PLANE OF GLASS and I don't have any awning of any kind....wtf, mates?
Snow appears to be very icy and is blowing in an almost horizontal fashion. Wind gusts swirling up snow repeatedly look as though a tornado is about to start. Snow falling is indistinguishable from snow blowing on account of aforementioned gale force winds. Winter Storm conditions have been confirmed and all personnel are advised to seek shelter. Do not engage the enemy weather demons at any cost.
*Ahem*
Moving on...
Have I mentioned lately that I love my Mom? Because I do. If it were not for her, I would have bundled myself off and shlepped off to class--only to find out that today's classes are canceled and my frozen appendages suffered for nothing.
You see, I arose at 8 this morning (an amazing feat for a college student when he/she doesn't have class for an HOUR AND A HALF--15 minutes prior to class is considered plenty of time where I go to school)
I checked my e-mail, hoping against all hope that my professor would have written to say that he was canceling class, but no such luck.
I turned on the local news channel to see if my college had been listed as closed, but alas, my hopes were dashed yet again.
I then decided to mute the t.v. and give up hope of having any miracles occur--I didn't have much hope to cling to in the first place, as my university has only canceled classes once in twenty---yes, twenty---years. But thanks be to God, a miracle indeed has occurred. And at precisely 8:56 am, the Chancellor of my beloved university proclaimed, via email, that classes for today are, in fact, canceled.
Which is great, but now it negates my awesome rant that I was going to post around 8:30 when I emailed my poor father to rant and rave about, among other things, the fact that I would have to go to school today while my lil' brudder wouldn't have to.
But maybe I'll post it anyway, just because it was so nice and rant-y...We'll see. For now, it's time to sit back, relax, and enjoy the fact that I don't have to go outside.
Sending you warm thoughts from the Midwest,
-Hila
Icicles have formed on my window---how does that happen? My window is a FLAT PLANE OF GLASS and I don't have any awning of any kind....wtf, mates?
Snow appears to be very icy and is blowing in an almost horizontal fashion. Wind gusts swirling up snow repeatedly look as though a tornado is about to start. Snow falling is indistinguishable from snow blowing on account of aforementioned gale force winds. Winter Storm conditions have been confirmed and all personnel are advised to seek shelter. Do not engage the enemy weather demons at any cost.
*Ahem*
Moving on...
Have I mentioned lately that I love my Mom? Because I do. If it were not for her, I would have bundled myself off and shlepped off to class--only to find out that today's classes are canceled and my frozen appendages suffered for nothing.
You see, I arose at 8 this morning (an amazing feat for a college student when he/she doesn't have class for an HOUR AND A HALF--15 minutes prior to class is considered plenty of time where I go to school)
I checked my e-mail, hoping against all hope that my professor would have written to say that he was canceling class, but no such luck.
I turned on the local news channel to see if my college had been listed as closed, but alas, my hopes were dashed yet again.
I then decided to mute the t.v. and give up hope of having any miracles occur--I didn't have much hope to cling to in the first place, as my university has only canceled classes once in twenty---yes, twenty---years. But thanks be to God, a miracle indeed has occurred. And at precisely 8:56 am, the Chancellor of my beloved university proclaimed, via email, that classes for today are, in fact, canceled.
Which is great, but now it negates my awesome rant that I was going to post around 8:30 when I emailed my poor father to rant and rave about, among other things, the fact that I would have to go to school today while my lil' brudder wouldn't have to.
But maybe I'll post it anyway, just because it was so nice and rant-y...We'll see. For now, it's time to sit back, relax, and enjoy the fact that I don't have to go outside.
Sending you warm thoughts from the Midwest,
-Hila
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Jews in the Media
Ok folkies, I'll admit that this post is probably not going to rate high on the "interesting" scale, but what can ya do? It's from one of those diary entry thingies that I've been doing for my Religious Studies classes--so there you go. Inspiration for this post came from this site
Emblems and symbols of Judaism seem to be more and more apparent in American television and pop-culture these days. It has been talked about for quite some time that Jews are over-represented in the performing arts--there are only about 6 million Jews in the United States. The new trend, however, is people who are not Jewish playing with dreidels, using Yiddish words as slang, and otherwise displaying bits of Jewish culture without actually identifying as Jewish. The television show, "The Knights of Prosperity" features the cast members in a Judaica shop in Queens--they are Black, Indian, Latina, Italian, and Irish. On "Grey's Anatomy" Sandra Oh plays Dr. Cristina Yang, who identifies as Jewish when helping her castmates through the ritual known as shiva even though she only sees her Jewish stepfather on Yom Kippur and openly admits that she is not religious. Celebrities such as Madonna and Demi Moore sport Kabbalah bracelets and have gotten into Jewish mysticism. Yet there seem to be few characters who are fully Jewish who are able to embrace their heritage and faith in the media. Sure, there are those comedians and actors such as Fran Drescher and Adam Sandler--but even they are portrayed in such a kitschy, over-the-top manner that they are not allowed to be viewed as "normal". What does this say about our culture? Are we just trying to be inclusive--or are we compensating for the overwhelming amount of anti-Semitism all around us?
-Hila
Emblems and symbols of Judaism seem to be more and more apparent in American television and pop-culture these days. It has been talked about for quite some time that Jews are over-represented in the performing arts--there are only about 6 million Jews in the United States. The new trend, however, is people who are not Jewish playing with dreidels, using Yiddish words as slang, and otherwise displaying bits of Jewish culture without actually identifying as Jewish. The television show, "The Knights of Prosperity" features the cast members in a Judaica shop in Queens--they are Black, Indian, Latina, Italian, and Irish. On "Grey's Anatomy" Sandra Oh plays Dr. Cristina Yang, who identifies as Jewish when helping her castmates through the ritual known as shiva even though she only sees her Jewish stepfather on Yom Kippur and openly admits that she is not religious. Celebrities such as Madonna and Demi Moore sport Kabbalah bracelets and have gotten into Jewish mysticism. Yet there seem to be few characters who are fully Jewish who are able to embrace their heritage and faith in the media. Sure, there are those comedians and actors such as Fran Drescher and Adam Sandler--but even they are portrayed in such a kitschy, over-the-top manner that they are not allowed to be viewed as "normal". What does this say about our culture? Are we just trying to be inclusive--or are we compensating for the overwhelming amount of anti-Semitism all around us?
-Hila
Friday, February 02, 2007
School is Poopy...and other fun things!
Hey there, peoples! Many apologies for the lack of posting this week. I have been super busy with school...*sigh*...Why doesn't anyone understand that I'm a COLLEGE student? Don't they know I'm too busy to do any work? :-P Jk jk, of course!
Not much new here...I have been invited to be a guest of the Rabbi & Rebbetzin Elana for Shabbat this week, so that is exciting. This will be the first time that I will have spent Shabbat with someone's family, in their home, so I am so thrilled. Up until now, I have just gone to our campus Jewish centers (we do have two), which are perfectly wonderful and I enjoy them, but I know that it is nothing like actually having Shabbat at home.
Let's see...What else is new? Classes are frustrating---I just wanna graduate already! Dang it! And of course the real kicker is that, while I'll be pretty much done (save for 3 hours for a Senior Capstone Course) with everything for my degree and my general education requirements after this semester, I technically don't have enough "hours" to graduate. Stupid university just wants to suck more money out of me. Harumph! Oh and wouldn't you know that the Senior Capstone Course is only offered in the spring, and it conflicted with the rest of my schedule this semester so I couldn't take it, so instead of being able to take a couple of summer classes and next semester, I will be at this place another year. Pffft to that!
Ok, I promise to stop being bitter now. I just want my freaking DEGREE already! Grrr...
At least it's only -7 with the windchill today. Hooray for the little things ;-)
Shabbat Shalom, everyone!
Not much new here...I have been invited to be a guest of the Rabbi & Rebbetzin Elana for Shabbat this week, so that is exciting. This will be the first time that I will have spent Shabbat with someone's family, in their home, so I am so thrilled. Up until now, I have just gone to our campus Jewish centers (we do have two), which are perfectly wonderful and I enjoy them, but I know that it is nothing like actually having Shabbat at home.
Let's see...What else is new? Classes are frustrating---I just wanna graduate already! Dang it! And of course the real kicker is that, while I'll be pretty much done (save for 3 hours for a Senior Capstone Course) with everything for my degree and my general education requirements after this semester, I technically don't have enough "hours" to graduate. Stupid university just wants to suck more money out of me. Harumph! Oh and wouldn't you know that the Senior Capstone Course is only offered in the spring, and it conflicted with the rest of my schedule this semester so I couldn't take it, so instead of being able to take a couple of summer classes and next semester, I will be at this place another year. Pffft to that!
Ok, I promise to stop being bitter now. I just want my freaking DEGREE already! Grrr...
At least it's only -7 with the windchill today. Hooray for the little things ;-)
Shabbat Shalom, everyone!
Saturday, January 27, 2007
I'm a poet and I didn't know it! Ok, yeah I did...:-)
Here is my lame attempt at poetry. Don't laugh, ok? I'm taking a creative writing class that my friend Aliza recommended to me (she's in it). It's an "Intro to Poetry Writing" class, and so far, it's been pretty fun. The teacher is absolutely nuts but he's hilarious, so it makes for a good time. You see, I'm not a stranger to the world of poetry, I've been writing my teenage angst-ridden musings for years. I've even been published (wouldn't you all just like to know where? Well I can't tell you because then you'd know my *real* name) :-p. But maybe sometime I'll post the poems that got me published on here, because I doubt that anyone has actually ever read them before. Anyway. This poem is a work in progress, feel free to leave comments on what you like/dislike, etc. Thanks!
Matthew
Standing there
cold and pacing.
A chance meeting,
I knew you in high school
Making conversation
How have you been and what's new?
Being friendly because we're glad to see a familiar face--
someone from home, because we fancy ourselve part of an elite--ha, yeah, elite--
group of people known as "People Not from Chicago or the Suburbs"
and it unites us.
We realize now that we were immature back then
And while I can't forget the hurtful words you said to me that made me uncomfortable with myself
I forgive you, even though it's just silently to myself, and I smile at you and chat about the past few years
I see you now in a different light
You're softer, sweeter.
Maybe you've changed, or maybe it's me.
I don't need your approval anymore,
there's no popularity contest to win
Just two people who knew eachother "back when"
When we were confused, hormone-driven teenagers who cared only about what everyone else thought
and didn't give a shit about our own well-being.
We just tried to fit in.
So we stand here, shivering and talking
And as my anger at those painful memories fades to pity
for the angry young man you were, and slowly melts into compassion and understanding
I smile again at you
Because it really was nice
To see you again
And you say I should get in touch with you sometime
I agree and say I will
Although a part of me thinks that you were just being polite
But maybe not--because I really do think you've changed
I don't know
So in case you really did mean it, I'll call you sometime
and we can stand there,
Shivering and talking.
Matthew
Standing there
cold and pacing.
A chance meeting,
I knew you in high school
Making conversation
How have you been and what's new?
Being friendly because we're glad to see a familiar face--
someone from home, because we fancy ourselve part of an elite--ha, yeah, elite--
group of people known as "People Not from Chicago or the Suburbs"
and it unites us.
We realize now that we were immature back then
And while I can't forget the hurtful words you said to me that made me uncomfortable with myself
I forgive you, even though it's just silently to myself, and I smile at you and chat about the past few years
I see you now in a different light
You're softer, sweeter.
Maybe you've changed, or maybe it's me.
I don't need your approval anymore,
there's no popularity contest to win
Just two people who knew eachother "back when"
When we were confused, hormone-driven teenagers who cared only about what everyone else thought
and didn't give a shit about our own well-being.
We just tried to fit in.
So we stand here, shivering and talking
And as my anger at those painful memories fades to pity
for the angry young man you were, and slowly melts into compassion and understanding
I smile again at you
Because it really was nice
To see you again
And you say I should get in touch with you sometime
I agree and say I will
Although a part of me thinks that you were just being polite
But maybe not--because I really do think you've changed
I don't know
So in case you really did mean it, I'll call you sometime
and we can stand there,
Shivering and talking.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Shabbos Goy
Editor's note: I had to restart my computer because it spazzed on me so I lost most of this post. Please bear with me as I try to remember what I had written. Enjoy :-)
The inspiration for this post came about 8 minutes before Shabbos. You see, as most of you know, I am observant and religious, even though I am not "technically" Jewish since I am not finished with my conversion process. I don't have a piece of paper that "proves" I'm a Jew, but I am.That does not mean that, in every other sense, I am not Jewish. I am a Jewess. And I know that Hashem knows it. So my question is, why, if almost everyone I know sees my spiritual and religious growth and wants to help me with it, there are still some people who take the opportunity to point out the fact that, indeed, I am not "technically" Jewish?
I am having trouble writing this. I don't know how to say what I want to say without sounding rude or mean or just plain foolish.
Anyway, I guess I'll just get on with it. So 8 minutes before Shabbos, the Rebbetzin calls me. I had no idea who was calling me right before Shabbos, but since I didn't recognize the number I figured it was probably pretty darn important. So I answer, and it's the Rebbetzin. And she's like "Hila, it's is Elana*. I know this will probably sound like a really strange question, but I have something to ask you." At this point, I have a slight inkling of what might follow, but am still pretty much in the dark. She continues "Do you have any plans for tomorrow?" Riiiight, I think to myself, I can see where this is heading. Sigh. "I was wondering if you could come to my home tomorrow and help me walk to [our shul]. I would need you to push the double stroller with Zahava* and Eytan* in it, and Reut* and I would walk with you."
*pause for me to process said request*
Another sigh.
Anyway, the conversation continues for a couple of minutes, with Elana asking me if I mind helping her, and if I have anything going on, to which I reply that I was planning on meeting some people for lunch around 1 but that other than said lunch I was free for all of Shabbat. She continued to explain to me that she and the Rabbi just got the go-ahead from their Rav to (in essence, hire a Shabbos Goy, although those are my words, not hers). She continued by saying that of course, she would pay me for my time spent getting to and from their house and the time walking/pushing the stroller. I said I understood. She then asked if I have a car. In almost utter disbelief, I said no, as a matter of fact I do not. As if that matters? If I had a car I sure as heck wouldn’t be driving it on a Saturday afternoon! *grumble* She seemed a bit taken aback/upset by this, as she further explained to me where her home is located, which is about 1.5 miles from where I live (and I live about a block from shul). I reassured her that it was not a big deal, that I would walk to her house and meet her there. Because at this point, as you can now guess, I agreed. I don’t know why I agreed, it was one of those split second decisions you make where you just go “Ok, sure, yeah.” I couldn’t help it. I’m a helper. And Lord knows that Rebbetzin Elana is just about the most pure-hearted, kindest, warmest person I have ever met. So when she asked for my help, long before she even explained what it was that she wanted me to do, I immediately agreed. Of course, I was disappointed when I heard just what it was that she wanted me to do, to say the least.
Ok, I’ll give. I know that she isn’t around our shul that much, what with three small children and all, but it isn’t as if she doesn’t know me. I’ve baby-sat her kids, for goodness’ sakes! So anyway, I know, she probably doesn’t realize just how religious I am, because I don’t wear skirts and long sleeves every day, I sing in public, and don’t have any qualms about sitting next to men. All that being said, however, I am trying my hardest to be Orthodox. Or maybe I’m Conservadox. Either way, Shabbat is special to me. I do my absolute best, in my own bumbling and accident-prone way, to observe it exactly as it should be. Granted, I know I mess up. Hashem knows I mess up. And I think I’m forgiven. I mean, theoretically it doesn’t “matter” anyway, since I’m not “official” yet. But that’s the thing. It does matter. To me, it matters.
And it almost broke my heart when I realized what she wanted me to do. To break the laws of Shabbat. Oh Lord, oh Lord, what had I done? What had I agreed to? An overwhelming urge came over me to say “Listen, I’m sorry Elana, but I simply cannot do this.’ But I didn’t have the heart, after hearing how it had been 2 ½ years since she had been able to get out of the house on Shabbat, and how she wouldn’t have asked but she was desperate and didn’t know who else to call. Of course the part about not knowing who to call/being desperate was what hooked me in the first place, before I was told just what it was I’d agreed to.
Don’t get me wrong. I love Elana; she is the best. And I am always happy to help her and her family in any way I can. I just never thought this would be one of the ways.
I’m stuck. On the one hand, I am grateful to have the opportunity to help out Elana and her family, because I know that she was truly grateful to me for the help. On the other hand, I am saddened because I broke the laws of Shabbat and it wasn’t a matter of pekuach nefesh, not in the slightest. But then again, I find myself asking “what does it matter anyway?” And then I feel defeated. And small. I feel as if I am back at square one again, asking God what it is I am supposed to be doing and where I am supposed to be going. I’m lost. I suppose it really isn’t that big of a deal and I’m probably just blowing things out of proportion. I know that the Rebbetzin did not mean any offense or insult to me in any way, shape, or form. She simply isn’t capable of it, that much I do know. That still doesn’t change the fact that I was crestfallen when I learned what I had agreed to. But I believe that it would have been far worse to break my promise to such a great family than the injury to what I realize is, ultimately, my pride. But it isn’t just my pride, it’s my soul, my spirit, that have been wounded, if ever-so-slightly. I’ll get over it, and I realize that it is not the end of the world. Yet I cannot help but wonder
“Why did she have to ask me?”
*Names have been changed to protect identities.
The inspiration for this post came about 8 minutes before Shabbos. You see, as most of you know, I am observant and religious, even though I am not "technically" Jewish since I am not finished with my conversion process. I don't have a piece of paper that "proves" I'm a Jew, but I am.That does not mean that, in every other sense, I am not Jewish. I am a Jewess. And I know that Hashem knows it. So my question is, why, if almost everyone I know sees my spiritual and religious growth and wants to help me with it, there are still some people who take the opportunity to point out the fact that, indeed, I am not "technically" Jewish?
I am having trouble writing this. I don't know how to say what I want to say without sounding rude or mean or just plain foolish.
Anyway, I guess I'll just get on with it. So 8 minutes before Shabbos, the Rebbetzin calls me. I had no idea who was calling me right before Shabbos, but since I didn't recognize the number I figured it was probably pretty darn important. So I answer, and it's the Rebbetzin. And she's like "Hila, it's is Elana*. I know this will probably sound like a really strange question, but I have something to ask you." At this point, I have a slight inkling of what might follow, but am still pretty much in the dark. She continues "Do you have any plans for tomorrow?" Riiiight, I think to myself, I can see where this is heading. Sigh. "I was wondering if you could come to my home tomorrow and help me walk to [our shul]. I would need you to push the double stroller with Zahava* and Eytan* in it, and Reut* and I would walk with you."
*pause for me to process said request*
Another sigh.
Anyway, the conversation continues for a couple of minutes, with Elana asking me if I mind helping her, and if I have anything going on, to which I reply that I was planning on meeting some people for lunch around 1 but that other than said lunch I was free for all of Shabbat. She continued to explain to me that she and the Rabbi just got the go-ahead from their Rav to (in essence, hire a Shabbos Goy, although those are my words, not hers). She continued by saying that of course, she would pay me for my time spent getting to and from their house and the time walking/pushing the stroller. I said I understood. She then asked if I have a car. In almost utter disbelief, I said no, as a matter of fact I do not. As if that matters? If I had a car I sure as heck wouldn’t be driving it on a Saturday afternoon! *grumble* She seemed a bit taken aback/upset by this, as she further explained to me where her home is located, which is about 1.5 miles from where I live (and I live about a block from shul). I reassured her that it was not a big deal, that I would walk to her house and meet her there. Because at this point, as you can now guess, I agreed. I don’t know why I agreed, it was one of those split second decisions you make where you just go “Ok, sure, yeah.” I couldn’t help it. I’m a helper. And Lord knows that Rebbetzin Elana is just about the most pure-hearted, kindest, warmest person I have ever met. So when she asked for my help, long before she even explained what it was that she wanted me to do, I immediately agreed. Of course, I was disappointed when I heard just what it was that she wanted me to do, to say the least.
Ok, I’ll give. I know that she isn’t around our shul that much, what with three small children and all, but it isn’t as if she doesn’t know me. I’ve baby-sat her kids, for goodness’ sakes! So anyway, I know, she probably doesn’t realize just how religious I am, because I don’t wear skirts and long sleeves every day, I sing in public, and don’t have any qualms about sitting next to men. All that being said, however, I am trying my hardest to be Orthodox. Or maybe I’m Conservadox. Either way, Shabbat is special to me. I do my absolute best, in my own bumbling and accident-prone way, to observe it exactly as it should be. Granted, I know I mess up. Hashem knows I mess up. And I think I’m forgiven. I mean, theoretically it doesn’t “matter” anyway, since I’m not “official” yet. But that’s the thing. It does matter. To me, it matters.
And it almost broke my heart when I realized what she wanted me to do. To break the laws of Shabbat. Oh Lord, oh Lord, what had I done? What had I agreed to? An overwhelming urge came over me to say “Listen, I’m sorry Elana, but I simply cannot do this.’ But I didn’t have the heart, after hearing how it had been 2 ½ years since she had been able to get out of the house on Shabbat, and how she wouldn’t have asked but she was desperate and didn’t know who else to call. Of course the part about not knowing who to call/being desperate was what hooked me in the first place, before I was told just what it was I’d agreed to.
Don’t get me wrong. I love Elana; she is the best. And I am always happy to help her and her family in any way I can. I just never thought this would be one of the ways.
I’m stuck. On the one hand, I am grateful to have the opportunity to help out Elana and her family, because I know that she was truly grateful to me for the help. On the other hand, I am saddened because I broke the laws of Shabbat and it wasn’t a matter of pekuach nefesh, not in the slightest. But then again, I find myself asking “what does it matter anyway?” And then I feel defeated. And small. I feel as if I am back at square one again, asking God what it is I am supposed to be doing and where I am supposed to be going. I’m lost. I suppose it really isn’t that big of a deal and I’m probably just blowing things out of proportion. I know that the Rebbetzin did not mean any offense or insult to me in any way, shape, or form. She simply isn’t capable of it, that much I do know. That still doesn’t change the fact that I was crestfallen when I learned what I had agreed to. But I believe that it would have been far worse to break my promise to such a great family than the injury to what I realize is, ultimately, my pride. But it isn’t just my pride, it’s my soul, my spirit, that have been wounded, if ever-so-slightly. I’ll get over it, and I realize that it is not the end of the world. Yet I cannot help but wonder
“Why did she have to ask me?”
*Names have been changed to protect identities.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Back in Business
Well hey there, folks! Sorry for the lack of updating lately. Just got back to school after a nice long break and I'm really not looking forward to the workload this semester. I'm taking 18 hours and I have 7 classes. Yikes! I am excited, however, about my History of Judaism class. You see, each week we have to write two "diary" entries about anything related to Judaism that we want to. They are informal and can be as long or as short as we want. So I thought, cha-ching! Blog material! Woohoo! And it's good for all of the 4 of you that read this thing because I'll actually have something oh you know, interesting to say, at least twice a week :-)
Ok, now it's time to get some homework done! See you all soon!
-Hila
Ok, now it's time to get some homework done! See you all soon!
-Hila
Friday, December 29, 2006
Hälsning från Sverige!
Editor's Note: I wrote this post on December 26th while at my grandparents' apartment, but Blogger was having some kind of issue (I think) so I wasn't able to save this draft or publish it when I wrote it, and I haven't been able to get online again until now that I'm back in the States. Oh well, I figured I'd post it anyway. Enjoy :-)
*WARNING* L-O-N-G P-O-S-T AHEAD :-)
Hey there, J-bloggers! Thought I'd stop by to let the 2 of you that read this that I'm alive and well. I'm still in Sweden visiting my grandparents, and won't be back until the 29th, so I probably won't post again until New Year's Eve. Hope everyone had a great end to
Chanukah and such! Things are going alright here but it has been a very stressful trip for all of us. It is especially hard for me to see my grandparents because each time they seem to have gotten much worse than the last time I saw them. I know it is hard for anyone to
see someone they care about deteriorate mentally and/or physically, but for my family it is exacerbated by the fact that my grandparents were once such lively, vibrant people--even just a few short years ago. They used to ski. swim, sail, hike, dance, and travel all the time--well into their 70's!!! Now, my Farfar (Swedish for Father's Father and what I call my grandpa) is paralyzed on one side after a stroke and while it didn't affect him mentally, the stress from trying to keep track of my Farmor (Father's Mother) who is growing more and more difficult to deal with as her Alzheimer's worsens and she becomes less and less functional due to her sciatica. It is just too sad. I am thankful that they are still with us, don't get me wrong, I just wish there were some way to improve their quality of life. I know they are lonely here, and with things getting more and more difficult to handle, I think that they may need to move into
full-time assisted living in the near future. Anyway...On to more pleasant (sort of) things!
The weather here has been unseasonably warm, and so far no snow (which makes me sad but everyone else is happy!) boo! We will be going to see some of my cousins tomorrow and I'm very excited about that, as I haven't seen them in almost 8 years! It will be a BLONDE family gathering, that is for sure. My three cousins, Caroline, Cecelia, and Catarina are all blonde just like me, plus my younger brother and mother are blonde. The rest of the crew is grey-headed so I guess I will lump them in with the blondies ;-) Ha ha. It should be a good time. I hope.
Oh, I'm sure you all are wondering how the trip here was? Well, fuggedaboutit. I ain't tellin' ya, cuz it was SOOO miserable!
So don't even ask. I'm not gonna crack.
Seriously.
Ok I lied. I want you all to hear about my suffering
:-p
So, I think we all knew it was a bad sign when we were informed that the first leg of our trip (to Chicago) had been canceled due to weather and delays in Chicago. But we all chose to ignore it thinking that international flights would be ok and we drove up to Chicago figuring that everything would be hunky dory. Oh no no no, sirree, that 'twere not so. Why? Oh, well, let's see. First off we went to the wrong terminal TWICE because they have redone things in the airport since the last time FamilyHila has been there. Then we finally get to the United area and are told that no, for our flight we have to go back to a different terminal to check in because the flight is really through Scandinavian Airlines and NOT United
(which is horse puckey because, as any of you regular travelers know, you check in with the Airline that you booked your flight with, regardless of which airline
is actually responsible for the flight). So we get to the SAS line and of course there are about 50 people and onl 4 people working the check in desks. Yippee. And of course we think we're all top banana because we get to go in the "Premium" line since PappaHila flies so much for work that he has a membership card and whatnot that entitles him to this shorther line, but does that mean jack squat? No, of course not, why would an airline want to do anything, ya know, LOGICAL?!?!? So we waited in a shorter line but an equal amount of time to check in, only to find out that our flight to Denmark (yes, why would we want to fly directly to Sweden when we could complicate the trip ourselves?I. Don't. Know. Ask PappaHila!) is
delayed approximately 5 hours. So we go and eat, and then figure we should look at duty free stuff only to be told that we'll have to put our stuff back because we can't take the liquids through the security checkpoint and that oh by the way the store on the inside is closing in 20 minutes. Well skit(that's Swedish for something I shouldn'tsay in English :-D).
So we go through security, only to discover that the duty free store inside the
waiting area was more like a kiosk and didn't have most of what we wanted. Whatever.
It was then time to "hurry up and wait" as MammaHila likes to say. We at least had some cards so we played rummy for awhile and we all had magazines and books to read, but man does waiting for 5 hours suck when you know you're then going to be trapped on an airplane for 7 hours. Or more like 8, in our case, because as soon as we got on the plane
apparently someone got sick and they had to get an emergency crew to come and get him off the plane, which literally took an HOUR!!!! Grrrr....and don't even get me started on the bratty little toddler who wouldn't stop crying the ENTIRE FLIGHT!!!! I am so glad I brought earplugs...Typical Scandinavian parents who don't discipline (or even parent) their children
just let the little bugger scream his head off without batting an eye. Now before I get a bunch of angry parents out there telling me that I have no room to talk because I don't have kids, let me say this: I don't have kids of my own but I might as well because my cousins all have enough to populate their own village and I take care of them a lot of the time, so I know a thing or two about kids' behavior and how to deal with them. I also would have given the boy the benefit of the doubt and said he was probably just tired and in pain from the pressure on his ears, but
this kid started screaming long before we were even about to taxi down the runway and didn't stop until several hours into the flight, which even then was only a momentary silence. Anyway, enough about the brat. I managed to sleep a good 4+ hours so I can't complain too much. We arrived in Copenhagen safe and sound and all of our luggage made it too, so that was a blessing. The bad news was that we had missed our original train to Linköping (where my
relatives live) by a looong stretch, and had even missed the second train that my aunt had kindly re-booked for us when she heard we were delayed, because that extra hour waiting on the sick guy to get taken care of cost us the time to make it to the train. (I know I know, shame on me, I really do hope the man is doing better). Anyhoo. So we were kind of in a pickle, because if we took the "night train" it would take us all the way to Stockholm first (about 2 hours out of the way) and wouldn't let us off until about 7 am. If we got a rental car, it would be PappaHila driving the 5 and a half hours it takes to get there because I'm not old enough to drive a rental car and MammaHila was too scared. If we took the bus, it would get us there more directly but would still take 6 hours and wouldn't get to where we needed to be until 3:30 in the morning. It was a meckofa hess. In the end we decided on the bus, which went smoothly and got us there intact. But boy were we all tired. *sigh* Let's hope my trip back
doesn't requre an entry this long!
-Hila
*WARNING* L-O-N-G P-O-S-T AHEAD :-)
Hey there, J-bloggers! Thought I'd stop by to let the 2 of you that read this that I'm alive and well. I'm still in Sweden visiting my grandparents, and won't be back until the 29th, so I probably won't post again until New Year's Eve. Hope everyone had a great end to
Chanukah and such! Things are going alright here but it has been a very stressful trip for all of us. It is especially hard for me to see my grandparents because each time they seem to have gotten much worse than the last time I saw them. I know it is hard for anyone to
see someone they care about deteriorate mentally and/or physically, but for my family it is exacerbated by the fact that my grandparents were once such lively, vibrant people--even just a few short years ago. They used to ski. swim, sail, hike, dance, and travel all the time--well into their 70's!!! Now, my Farfar (Swedish for Father's Father and what I call my grandpa) is paralyzed on one side after a stroke and while it didn't affect him mentally, the stress from trying to keep track of my Farmor (Father's Mother) who is growing more and more difficult to deal with as her Alzheimer's worsens and she becomes less and less functional due to her sciatica. It is just too sad. I am thankful that they are still with us, don't get me wrong, I just wish there were some way to improve their quality of life. I know they are lonely here, and with things getting more and more difficult to handle, I think that they may need to move into
full-time assisted living in the near future. Anyway...On to more pleasant (sort of) things!
The weather here has been unseasonably warm, and so far no snow (which makes me sad but everyone else is happy!) boo! We will be going to see some of my cousins tomorrow and I'm very excited about that, as I haven't seen them in almost 8 years! It will be a BLONDE family gathering, that is for sure. My three cousins, Caroline, Cecelia, and Catarina are all blonde just like me, plus my younger brother and mother are blonde. The rest of the crew is grey-headed so I guess I will lump them in with the blondies ;-) Ha ha. It should be a good time. I hope.
Oh, I'm sure you all are wondering how the trip here was? Well, fuggedaboutit. I ain't tellin' ya, cuz it was SOOO miserable!
So don't even ask. I'm not gonna crack.
Seriously.
Ok I lied. I want you all to hear about my suffering
:-p
So, I think we all knew it was a bad sign when we were informed that the first leg of our trip (to Chicago) had been canceled due to weather and delays in Chicago. But we all chose to ignore it thinking that international flights would be ok and we drove up to Chicago figuring that everything would be hunky dory. Oh no no no, sirree, that 'twere not so. Why? Oh, well, let's see. First off we went to the wrong terminal TWICE because they have redone things in the airport since the last time FamilyHila has been there. Then we finally get to the United area and are told that no, for our flight we have to go back to a different terminal to check in because the flight is really through Scandinavian Airlines and NOT United
(which is horse puckey because, as any of you regular travelers know, you check in with the Airline that you booked your flight with, regardless of which airline
is actually responsible for the flight). So we get to the SAS line and of course there are about 50 people and onl 4 people working the check in desks. Yippee. And of course we think we're all top banana because we get to go in the "Premium" line since PappaHila flies so much for work that he has a membership card and whatnot that entitles him to this shorther line, but does that mean jack squat? No, of course not, why would an airline want to do anything, ya know, LOGICAL?!?!? So we waited in a shorter line but an equal amount of time to check in, only to find out that our flight to Denmark (yes, why would we want to fly directly to Sweden when we could complicate the trip ourselves?I. Don't. Know. Ask PappaHila!) is
delayed approximately 5 hours. So we go and eat, and then figure we should look at duty free stuff only to be told that we'll have to put our stuff back because we can't take the liquids through the security checkpoint and that oh by the way the store on the inside is closing in 20 minutes. Well skit(that's Swedish for something I shouldn'tsay in English :-D).
So we go through security, only to discover that the duty free store inside the
waiting area was more like a kiosk and didn't have most of what we wanted. Whatever.
It was then time to "hurry up and wait" as MammaHila likes to say. We at least had some cards so we played rummy for awhile and we all had magazines and books to read, but man does waiting for 5 hours suck when you know you're then going to be trapped on an airplane for 7 hours. Or more like 8, in our case, because as soon as we got on the plane
apparently someone got sick and they had to get an emergency crew to come and get him off the plane, which literally took an HOUR!!!! Grrrr....and don't even get me started on the bratty little toddler who wouldn't stop crying the ENTIRE FLIGHT!!!! I am so glad I brought earplugs...Typical Scandinavian parents who don't discipline (or even parent) their children
just let the little bugger scream his head off without batting an eye. Now before I get a bunch of angry parents out there telling me that I have no room to talk because I don't have kids, let me say this: I don't have kids of my own but I might as well because my cousins all have enough to populate their own village and I take care of them a lot of the time, so I know a thing or two about kids' behavior and how to deal with them. I also would have given the boy the benefit of the doubt and said he was probably just tired and in pain from the pressure on his ears, but
this kid started screaming long before we were even about to taxi down the runway and didn't stop until several hours into the flight, which even then was only a momentary silence. Anyway, enough about the brat. I managed to sleep a good 4+ hours so I can't complain too much. We arrived in Copenhagen safe and sound and all of our luggage made it too, so that was a blessing. The bad news was that we had missed our original train to Linköping (where my
relatives live) by a looong stretch, and had even missed the second train that my aunt had kindly re-booked for us when she heard we were delayed, because that extra hour waiting on the sick guy to get taken care of cost us the time to make it to the train. (I know I know, shame on me, I really do hope the man is doing better). Anyhoo. So we were kind of in a pickle, because if we took the "night train" it would take us all the way to Stockholm first (about 2 hours out of the way) and wouldn't let us off until about 7 am. If we got a rental car, it would be PappaHila driving the 5 and a half hours it takes to get there because I'm not old enough to drive a rental car and MammaHila was too scared. If we took the bus, it would get us there more directly but would still take 6 hours and wouldn't get to where we needed to be until 3:30 in the morning. It was a meckofa hess. In the end we decided on the bus, which went smoothly and got us there intact. But boy were we all tired. *sigh* Let's hope my trip back
doesn't requre an entry this long!
-Hila
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Hi ho, Hi ho, it's off to the tundra I go!
Hello, blogheads! :-)
Yet another one of my quickie stop-ins to say hello and to let you all know that I'll be absent for awhile. I am going to be in The Land of the Really Blonde People and Lots of Snow visiting my paternal grandparents and some other relatives.
It's a good thing I managed to get my passport in just ONE DAY!!! Yes folks, I know they tell you that it takes 6 weeks to get a passport, but if you're sly and wily like Hila, you can get it in just a few short hours! How, you ask? Be a dingleberry and misplace your passport and not realize it until a few short days before your trip is scheduled to occur. Fill out all necessary forms and have all required forms of identification as specified by the gov't and be willing to shell out a large chunk of change and bada-boom, bada-bing, prest-o change-o rearrange-o, you'll have a shiny, new, United States passport in no time! :-D
Actually, I take that back. You'll have it, but you will have to wait for it. And wait for it. And wait for it. I am not joking when I say that you actually have to make an appointment to wait to see a clerk. Seriously. What. the. heck. I called and made an appointment, foolishly thinking that upon arrival I'd simply check in with a receptionist of sorts and would soon be pleading my sorry case to some desk jockey and then away I'd go. Much to my chagrin, however, this was not to be. Instead, I had to wait in line just to check in with the receptionist, who gave me a number so I could sit and wait 30 minutes (mind you I HAD AN APPOINTMENT) to speak to someone, just to in turn wait 4 hours to come back and WAIT AGAIN for them to call my name when my passport was finished, which I was informed would be processed at random...Egads is all I have to say about that!
Anyhoo, back to my trip to Sveeeeeden (aka the Frozen Tundra) Am I excited, you ask? Of course! I haven't seen my grandparents in over a year, so I am really looking forward to spending time with them. I am not, however, looking forward to the only 6 hours of sunlight a day and the -2384939843 degree temperature and the 4.23775 feet of snow that will be on the ground...Ok, ok, so I'm exaggerating. But not about the darkness. That's gonna be a trip.
Anyway, I'll be thinking about you all while I'm on my little vacation. I'll be back in time for New Year's Eve so maybe I'll post a little around then!
Wish me luck in my travels!
-Hila
Yet another one of my quickie stop-ins to say hello and to let you all know that I'll be absent for awhile. I am going to be in The Land of the Really Blonde People and Lots of Snow visiting my paternal grandparents and some other relatives.
It's a good thing I managed to get my passport in just ONE DAY!!! Yes folks, I know they tell you that it takes 6 weeks to get a passport, but if you're sly and wily like Hila, you can get it in just a few short hours! How, you ask? Be a dingleberry and misplace your passport and not realize it until a few short days before your trip is scheduled to occur. Fill out all necessary forms and have all required forms of identification as specified by the gov't and be willing to shell out a large chunk of change and bada-boom, bada-bing, prest-o change-o rearrange-o, you'll have a shiny, new, United States passport in no time! :-D
Actually, I take that back. You'll have it, but you will have to wait for it. And wait for it. And wait for it. I am not joking when I say that you actually have to make an appointment to wait to see a clerk. Seriously. What. the. heck. I called and made an appointment, foolishly thinking that upon arrival I'd simply check in with a receptionist of sorts and would soon be pleading my sorry case to some desk jockey and then away I'd go. Much to my chagrin, however, this was not to be. Instead, I had to wait in line just to check in with the receptionist, who gave me a number so I could sit and wait 30 minutes (mind you I HAD AN APPOINTMENT) to speak to someone, just to in turn wait 4 hours to come back and WAIT AGAIN for them to call my name when my passport was finished, which I was informed would be processed at random...Egads is all I have to say about that!
Anyhoo, back to my trip to Sveeeeeden (aka the Frozen Tundra) Am I excited, you ask? Of course! I haven't seen my grandparents in over a year, so I am really looking forward to spending time with them. I am not, however, looking forward to the only 6 hours of sunlight a day and the -2384939843 degree temperature and the 4.23775 feet of snow that will be on the ground...Ok, ok, so I'm exaggerating. But not about the darkness. That's gonna be a trip.
Anyway, I'll be thinking about you all while I'm on my little vacation. I'll be back in time for New Year's Eve so maybe I'll post a little around then!
Wish me luck in my travels!
-Hila
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
A Home of His Own
Hey everyone...
Chanukah Sameach! Just checking in real quick to say hello, and also to put up this
very important link to MOChossid's post about a wonderful boy called Judah. Please take the time to read his post and see if you, or any one you know, would be willing and able to give this sweet young man a place to call home.
Hope you are all enjoying your time with your loved ones and your latkes!
-Hila
Chanukah Sameach! Just checking in real quick to say hello, and also to put up this
very important link to MOChossid's post about a wonderful boy called Judah. Please take the time to read his post and see if you, or any one you know, would be willing and able to give this sweet young man a place to call home.
Hope you are all enjoying your time with your loved ones and your latkes!
-Hila
Monday, December 11, 2006
So inspiring...Makes me believe in chesed again
Ok, I know I am a sap, but I just had to post this video link. Free Hugs Guy--Juan Mann No doubt a lot of you have probably seen it already (it's been featured on Oprah). At first I thought maybe it was a joke, but if you watch the whole video, it's really awe-inspiring. What a simple act, and yet it can mean so much.
I'm a firm believer in the "little things." When I was a teenager, I wrote a speech once about how you don't have to think big to make a difference in the world. Small gestures, like opening the door for someone else, smiling at someone you pass, saying hello or simply waving can all make a positive impact. I'm a firm believer in these things, and I make a conscious effort to do them every day. I'm always amazed at the reactions I get. Sure, sometimes people probably wonder why I am smiling at them as I pass them on the street, but more often than not they smile back. When I hold the door open to a lecture hall or restaurant, I am always greeted with "thank-you" and "you're so kind, thanks so much" and the like. I'd have to be a liar to say that this doesn't make me feel good in return. I wouldn't call it an ego boost, but it certainly lifts my spirits and inspires me to take on bigger challenges. One small step at a time, folks. We can do it.
*sigh* Back to studying now. And I PROMISE my post that RaggedyMom
inspired will be up soon. I just couldn't pass this up for now!
--Hila
I'm a firm believer in the "little things." When I was a teenager, I wrote a speech once about how you don't have to think big to make a difference in the world. Small gestures, like opening the door for someone else, smiling at someone you pass, saying hello or simply waving can all make a positive impact. I'm a firm believer in these things, and I make a conscious effort to do them every day. I'm always amazed at the reactions I get. Sure, sometimes people probably wonder why I am smiling at them as I pass them on the street, but more often than not they smile back. When I hold the door open to a lecture hall or restaurant, I am always greeted with "thank-you" and "you're so kind, thanks so much" and the like. I'd have to be a liar to say that this doesn't make me feel good in return. I wouldn't call it an ego boost, but it certainly lifts my spirits and inspires me to take on bigger challenges. One small step at a time, folks. We can do it.
*sigh* Back to studying now. And I PROMISE my post that RaggedyMom
inspired will be up soon. I just couldn't pass this up for now!
--Hila
Thursday, December 07, 2006
I've been tagged!!!
Hooray! I've been tagged for my first blog meme! I'm going to post all of my "yes" answers in bold white and everything else will be normal text. I may add in some commentary in italics
Enjoy!
01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink I'm a poor college student, what do you think? :-p
02. Swam with wild dolphins I've never swam with them, but I've seen them from my Grandpa's sailboat, does that count?
03. CLIMBED A MOUNTAIN. Several different ones, in fact. Mt. Rainier, Storm King Mountain, and Mt. Fuji to name a few.
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive. I don't think they'd even let me on the lot! That is, if there even were a Ferrari dealer out here in the boonies!
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid Not yet, but someday soon, G-d willing!
06. Held a tarantula Eew gross, NO!
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone. Not yet, but maybe once I'm married :-)
08. SAID "I LOVE YOU AND MEANT IT" Yeah, to my family and friends...
09. HUGGED A TREE. I'm with Raggedy Mom on this one, I hugged everything as a little kid!
10. Bungee jumped. No, but PappaHila promises to take me sometime in the near future (when we can sneak it past MammaHila)
11. VISITED PARIS. Class trip after my freshman year of high school. 'Twas good times!
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. STAYED UP ALL NIGHT AND SAW THE SUN RISE
14. Seen the Northern Lights.
15. GONE TO A HUGE SPORTS GAME. STL Cardinals, Seattle Mariners, Chi-town White Sox, etc...
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa.
17. GROWN AND EATEN YOUR OWN VEGETABLES. Yes, when I was younger we had quite the garden.
18. Touched an iceberg
19. SLEPT UNDER THE STARS
20. CHANGED A BABY'S DIAPER. Plenty of times. I babysit for my Rabbi's kids, as well as my cousins' and neighbors.
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. WATCHED A METEOR SHOWER. Yes, and it was AWESOME!
23. GOTTEN DRUNK ON CHAMPAGNE. I'm Swedish, I'm Jewish, and I'm a college kid. Triple strike right there!
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. LOOKED UP AT THE NIGHT SKY WITH A TELESCOPE
26. HAD AN UNCONTROLLABLE GIGGLING FIT Um yeah, a lot. Especially with my crazy and amazing friends.
27. HAD A FOOD FIGHT. Yeah, and my MOM was the one who started it!!!
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. ASKED OUT A STRANGER. On a bet, and it actually turned out pretty well. We're still friends, so that's a plus :-)
30. HAD A SNOWBALL FIGHT. Yes, I have brothers. Need I say more?
31. SCREAMED AS LOUDLY AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN. PappaHila is a retired Marine, and former Drill Sargeant and Master Sargeant. Try getting into a screaming match to see who is loudest. PappaHila will always win.
32. Held a Lamb.
33. Seen a total eclipse of the moon.
34. RIDDEN A ROLLER-COASTER. Yeah and they still scare the pee-waddin' outta me to this day!
35. Hit a home run *snort*
36. DANCED LIKE A FOOL.If any of you knew me in real life, you'd be laughing your heads off right now!
37. ADOPTED AN ACCENT FOR AN ENTIRE DAY. Yeah, MammaHila still complains that I sound like I'm from "Chicaaaaagoowww" whenever I visit on break.
38. ACTUALLY FELT HAPPY ABOUT YOUR LIFE, EVEN JUST FOR A MOMENT.
39. Had two hard drives for your computer.
40. Visited all 50 states.
41. TAKEN CARE OF SOMEONE WHO WAS DRUNK
42. HAD AMAZING FRIENDS
43. DANCED WITH A STRANGER IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY
44. WATCHED WILD WHALES. Once again viewed from Grandpa's sailboat.
45. STOLEN A SIGN. Yeah, I took a men's bathroom sign from a restaurant one time cuz it had fallen off.
46. Backpacked in Europe.
47. TAKEN A ROAD TRIP
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach. Who stays up that late on purpose?
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland.
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. VISITED JAPAN. Actually, I lived there. For over a year. Konnichi wa!
55. MILKED A COW
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. SUNG KARAOKE. I've done it where it originated, even! And I DOMINATE the playstation game, "Songstar" so don't even mess with me! :-D
59. LOUNGED AROUND in bed all day. Again, I'm in college :-D
60. PLAYED TOUCH FOOTBALL. I have a gaggle of cousins. Go figure!
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed IN THE RAIN
63. PLAYED IN THE MUD. Here in college, we do a lil' something known as "Quad Diving" where we jump around in the mud on our Quad when its raining. Awesome times!
64. Played IN THE RAIN
65. GONE TO A DRIVE-IN THEATER.
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. FALLEN IN LOVE
69. TOURED ANCIENT SITES.
70. TAKEN A MARTIAL ARTS CLASS.
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight. What is that?
72. Gotten Married.
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. MADE COOKIES FROM SCRATCH
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. GOTTEN A TATTOO. I know, I know. Shock. Gasp. Horror. I got them before I learned that we (meaning Jews) aren't supposed to. So shoot me.
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
83. GOT FLOWERS FOR NO REASON
84. PERFORMED ON STAGE. I have been dancing since I was 6, acting since I was 11, and singing since I was 14. You do the math :-D
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a home.
91. Been in a combat zone.
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. SPOKEN MORE THAN ONE LANGUAGE FLUENTLY
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children. Again, not married...Although I guess in today's world that's not necessarily a pre-requisite...
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. SANG LOUDLY IN THE CAR, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery.
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication.
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback. I counsel survivors of sexual assault, so this is a pretty regular occurrence.
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray.
110. BROKEN SOMEONE'S HEART. So I've been told. But man, that sounds conceited. And depressing. *sigh*
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. BROKEN A BONE. My nose (lil bro smacked into me during a game of Blindman's Bluff) and my middle finger of my left hand (Cousin slammed my hand in a car door)
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. HAD A FACIAL PART PIERCED OTHER THAN YOUR EARS. I used to have my nose pierced, but MammaHila practically disowned me for it, so I took it out. You can't even tell I ever had it.
116. FIRED A RIFLE, shotgun, or pistol.
118. RIDDEN A HORSE. I have been riding since I was about 5. I love horses!
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet. No, but I used to find garter snakes out behind my house in the woods and bring them home to show my mom.
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. No, but I've been to the top of it :-)
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours.
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states.
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. EATEN SUSHI. I lived in Japan. It's sacrilege not to. Although I'm not a fan of fish in general, so I don't make a habit out of it.
128. HAD YOUR PICTURE IN THE NEWSPAPER
129. CHANGED SOMEONE'S MIND about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school. Uh, I'm still in school. Duh. :-)
131. Parasailed
132. TOUCHED A COCKROACH. Only to smash it with my shoe/book/any other hard object I can get my hands on.
133. EATEN FRIED GREEN TOMATOES. Yes, my Midwestern family likes to think they are from the Deep South, so they actually MAKE fried green tomatoes. And let me tell you, they are A-MA-ZING!!!
134. READ THE ILIAD AND THE ODDYSEY. In 6th grade my Social Studies/English teacher told us the story, complete with voices and acted-out scenes. But I did actually read it my freshman year of college.
135. Selected one "important author" who you missed in high school, and read.
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. COMMUNICATED WITH someone without sharing a common spoken language.
139. Been elected (dictator) to public office. Not unless being elected Secretary for F.C.C.L.A. counts???
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream.
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. DYED YOUR HAIR. I got tired of being platinum blonde my sophomore year of college so I went to auburn red. I had to dye my eyebrows too because they are so light. I was tired of it about 2 months later and it was so ridiculous to keep up, so I went back to my signature blonde. People recognize me this way :-)
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone's life
That was fun! Ok, now I'm tagging:
Chana (Jewess with Horns)
JewCess
Saffron
Enjoy!
01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink I'm a poor college student, what do you think? :-p
02. Swam with wild dolphins I've never swam with them, but I've seen them from my Grandpa's sailboat, does that count?
03. CLIMBED A MOUNTAIN. Several different ones, in fact. Mt. Rainier, Storm King Mountain, and Mt. Fuji to name a few.
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive. I don't think they'd even let me on the lot! That is, if there even were a Ferrari dealer out here in the boonies!
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid Not yet, but someday soon, G-d willing!
06. Held a tarantula Eew gross, NO!
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone. Not yet, but maybe once I'm married :-)
08. SAID "I LOVE YOU AND MEANT IT" Yeah, to my family and friends...
09. HUGGED A TREE. I'm with Raggedy Mom on this one, I hugged everything as a little kid!
10. Bungee jumped. No, but PappaHila promises to take me sometime in the near future (when we can sneak it past MammaHila)
11. VISITED PARIS. Class trip after my freshman year of high school. 'Twas good times!
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. STAYED UP ALL NIGHT AND SAW THE SUN RISE
14. Seen the Northern Lights.
15. GONE TO A HUGE SPORTS GAME. STL Cardinals, Seattle Mariners, Chi-town White Sox, etc...
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa.
17. GROWN AND EATEN YOUR OWN VEGETABLES. Yes, when I was younger we had quite the garden.
18. Touched an iceberg
19. SLEPT UNDER THE STARS
20. CHANGED A BABY'S DIAPER. Plenty of times. I babysit for my Rabbi's kids, as well as my cousins' and neighbors.
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. WATCHED A METEOR SHOWER. Yes, and it was AWESOME!
23. GOTTEN DRUNK ON CHAMPAGNE. I'm Swedish, I'm Jewish, and I'm a college kid. Triple strike right there!
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. LOOKED UP AT THE NIGHT SKY WITH A TELESCOPE
26. HAD AN UNCONTROLLABLE GIGGLING FIT Um yeah, a lot. Especially with my crazy and amazing friends.
27. HAD A FOOD FIGHT. Yeah, and my MOM was the one who started it!!!
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. ASKED OUT A STRANGER. On a bet, and it actually turned out pretty well. We're still friends, so that's a plus :-)
30. HAD A SNOWBALL FIGHT. Yes, I have brothers. Need I say more?
31. SCREAMED AS LOUDLY AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN. PappaHila is a retired Marine, and former Drill Sargeant and Master Sargeant. Try getting into a screaming match to see who is loudest. PappaHila will always win.
32. Held a Lamb.
33. Seen a total eclipse of the moon.
34. RIDDEN A ROLLER-COASTER. Yeah and they still scare the pee-waddin' outta me to this day!
35. Hit a home run *snort*
36. DANCED LIKE A FOOL.If any of you knew me in real life, you'd be laughing your heads off right now!
37. ADOPTED AN ACCENT FOR AN ENTIRE DAY. Yeah, MammaHila still complains that I sound like I'm from "Chicaaaaagoowww" whenever I visit on break.
38. ACTUALLY FELT HAPPY ABOUT YOUR LIFE, EVEN JUST FOR A MOMENT.
39. Had two hard drives for your computer.
40. Visited all 50 states.
41. TAKEN CARE OF SOMEONE WHO WAS DRUNK
42. HAD AMAZING FRIENDS
43. DANCED WITH A STRANGER IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY
44. WATCHED WILD WHALES. Once again viewed from Grandpa's sailboat.
45. STOLEN A SIGN. Yeah, I took a men's bathroom sign from a restaurant one time cuz it had fallen off.
46. Backpacked in Europe.
47. TAKEN A ROAD TRIP
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach. Who stays up that late on purpose?
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland.
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. VISITED JAPAN. Actually, I lived there. For over a year. Konnichi wa!
55. MILKED A COW
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. SUNG KARAOKE. I've done it where it originated, even! And I DOMINATE the playstation game, "Songstar" so don't even mess with me! :-D
59. LOUNGED AROUND in bed all day. Again, I'm in college :-D
60. PLAYED TOUCH FOOTBALL. I have a gaggle of cousins. Go figure!
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed IN THE RAIN
63. PLAYED IN THE MUD. Here in college, we do a lil' something known as "Quad Diving" where we jump around in the mud on our Quad when its raining. Awesome times!
64. Played IN THE RAIN
65. GONE TO A DRIVE-IN THEATER.
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. FALLEN IN LOVE
69. TOURED ANCIENT SITES.
70. TAKEN A MARTIAL ARTS CLASS.
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight. What is that?
72. Gotten Married.
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. MADE COOKIES FROM SCRATCH
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. GOTTEN A TATTOO. I know, I know. Shock. Gasp. Horror. I got them before I learned that we (meaning Jews) aren't supposed to. So shoot me.
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
83. GOT FLOWERS FOR NO REASON
84. PERFORMED ON STAGE. I have been dancing since I was 6, acting since I was 11, and singing since I was 14. You do the math :-D
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a home.
91. Been in a combat zone.
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. SPOKEN MORE THAN ONE LANGUAGE FLUENTLY
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children. Again, not married...Although I guess in today's world that's not necessarily a pre-requisite...
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. SANG LOUDLY IN THE CAR, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery.
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication.
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback. I counsel survivors of sexual assault, so this is a pretty regular occurrence.
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray.
110. BROKEN SOMEONE'S HEART. So I've been told. But man, that sounds conceited. And depressing. *sigh*
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. BROKEN A BONE. My nose (lil bro smacked into me during a game of Blindman's Bluff) and my middle finger of my left hand (Cousin slammed my hand in a car door)
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. HAD A FACIAL PART PIERCED OTHER THAN YOUR EARS. I used to have my nose pierced, but MammaHila practically disowned me for it, so I took it out. You can't even tell I ever had it.
116. FIRED A RIFLE, shotgun, or pistol.
118. RIDDEN A HORSE. I have been riding since I was about 5. I love horses!
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet. No, but I used to find garter snakes out behind my house in the woods and bring them home to show my mom.
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. No, but I've been to the top of it :-)
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours.
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states.
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. EATEN SUSHI. I lived in Japan. It's sacrilege not to. Although I'm not a fan of fish in general, so I don't make a habit out of it.
128. HAD YOUR PICTURE IN THE NEWSPAPER
129. CHANGED SOMEONE'S MIND about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school. Uh, I'm still in school. Duh. :-)
131. Parasailed
132. TOUCHED A COCKROACH. Only to smash it with my shoe/book/any other hard object I can get my hands on.
133. EATEN FRIED GREEN TOMATOES. Yes, my Midwestern family likes to think they are from the Deep South, so they actually MAKE fried green tomatoes. And let me tell you, they are A-MA-ZING!!!
134. READ THE ILIAD AND THE ODDYSEY. In 6th grade my Social Studies/English teacher told us the story, complete with voices and acted-out scenes. But I did actually read it my freshman year of college.
135. Selected one "important author" who you missed in high school, and read.
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. COMMUNICATED WITH someone without sharing a common spoken language.
139. Been elected (dictator) to public office. Not unless being elected Secretary for F.C.C.L.A. counts???
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream.
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. DYED YOUR HAIR. I got tired of being platinum blonde my sophomore year of college so I went to auburn red. I had to dye my eyebrows too because they are so light. I was tired of it about 2 months later and it was so ridiculous to keep up, so I went back to my signature blonde. People recognize me this way :-)
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone's life
That was fun! Ok, now I'm tagging:
Chana (Jewess with Horns)
JewCess
Saffron
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Thank you, thank you---I'll be here all week
A big thanks to RaggedyMom for mentioning me in her post "International Promote-a-blog Week"
You definitely should check her blog out, if you haven't already. She's definitely one of my new favorites! And I just happened to read her latest post, and it has inspired me to write my next one--hooray! Too bad I probably won't get to write it until next week.
I have a final this week and it's also the last week of class before finals, so it's time that I hole myself up in the library fowevew (*Homestar voice*)
In other news, today is indeed my Birthday. Gratis på födelsedagen to me :-)
Hope everyone had a good Shabbat, I know I did! Until next time, as we say in Sverige, "Vi ses" ("See you later", literally "We will see eachother in the future")
More on all that stuff next time, though! Ta ta!
--Hila
You definitely should check her blog out, if you haven't already. She's definitely one of my new favorites! And I just happened to read her latest post, and it has inspired me to write my next one--hooray! Too bad I probably won't get to write it until next week.
I have a final this week and it's also the last week of class before finals, so it's time that I hole myself up in the library fowevew (*Homestar voice*)
In other news, today is indeed my Birthday. Gratis på födelsedagen to me :-)
Hope everyone had a good Shabbat, I know I did! Until next time, as we say in Sverige, "Vi ses" ("See you later", literally "We will see eachother in the future")
More on all that stuff next time, though! Ta ta!
--Hila
Monday, November 27, 2006
Hello again!
Hey everyone,
Just wanted to say hello again and that I hope everyone had an enjoyable Thanksgiving! I know I certainly did. I was definitely proud of the way my pumpkin and apple pies turned out! Apple pie is my specialty, but I'd never made pumpkin pie before, so I was a bit nervous.
Anyhoo...Now I'm back at school, and let me tell you, I can't wait to be done! Only two more weeks of class, and then finals. Thank goodness. Blogging will be somewhat limited in the next couple of weeks, probably, but I hope that those of you who actually do read this don't disappear completely! I promise to post at least once a week, ok? :-)
Alrighty, time to get crackin' on my homework (yeah, right!) hahahah
--Hila
Just wanted to say hello again and that I hope everyone had an enjoyable Thanksgiving! I know I certainly did. I was definitely proud of the way my pumpkin and apple pies turned out! Apple pie is my specialty, but I'd never made pumpkin pie before, so I was a bit nervous.
Anyhoo...Now I'm back at school, and let me tell you, I can't wait to be done! Only two more weeks of class, and then finals. Thank goodness. Blogging will be somewhat limited in the next couple of weeks, probably, but I hope that those of you who actually do read this don't disappear completely! I promise to post at least once a week, ok? :-)
Alrighty, time to get crackin' on my homework (yeah, right!) hahahah
--Hila
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Thangksgiving...
Hello there, Blogland!
So, I had a bunch of *great* ideas for posts, and somehow in the miraculous act known as sleep, I lost them all. So alas and alack, I've got nothing. Cwap
Oh shoot! I just noticed this little warning doo-hickey that says there's a scheduled outage for 12:30, and it's 12:19 right now. It also says PST, so maybe I don't have to worry...But just in case, I'll stop for now and come back later.
The only real point I had to making this post was to announce that I'll be venturing even further into the cornfields (known as "home") for Thanksgiving break, but first I'll be spending Shabbat/ the weekend in Chicago (and hopefully making it to Milwaukee on the 18th!). I'm really excited because I'm heading up this evening, and so before Shabbat tomorrow MammaHila is going to go shopping with me! Woohoo...'Cuz ya know, I have to by birthday presents and what not...Seems like every darn relative I have has a birthday from Nov.1- Jan. 31st...Hmmm...Interesting point to ponder. But I digress. Bottom line is I need to get busy. Wish me luck dashing around and avoiding all the Christmas shoppers who will no doubt be all decked out in red and green splendor and buying like crazy. This will undoubtedly include MammaHila, who goes nuts at Christmas. Should be good times, as always!
Have a safe and happy Shabbat, as always! And a great Thanksgiving surrounded by your loved ones if I don't get to post again for you all before then!
--Hila
So, I had a bunch of *great* ideas for posts, and somehow in the miraculous act known as sleep, I lost them all. So alas and alack, I've got nothing. Cwap
Oh shoot! I just noticed this little warning doo-hickey that says there's a scheduled outage for 12:30, and it's 12:19 right now. It also says PST, so maybe I don't have to worry...But just in case, I'll stop for now and come back later.
The only real point I had to making this post was to announce that I'll be venturing even further into the cornfields (known as "home") for Thanksgiving break, but first I'll be spending Shabbat/ the weekend in Chicago (and hopefully making it to Milwaukee on the 18th!). I'm really excited because I'm heading up this evening, and so before Shabbat tomorrow MammaHila is going to go shopping with me! Woohoo...'Cuz ya know, I have to by birthday presents and what not...Seems like every darn relative I have has a birthday from Nov.1- Jan. 31st...Hmmm...Interesting point to ponder. But I digress. Bottom line is I need to get busy. Wish me luck dashing around and avoiding all the Christmas shoppers who will no doubt be all decked out in red and green splendor and buying like crazy. This will undoubtedly include MammaHila, who goes nuts at Christmas. Should be good times, as always!
Have a safe and happy Shabbat, as always! And a great Thanksgiving surrounded by your loved ones if I don't get to post again for you all before then!
--Hila
Monday, November 13, 2006
Dad is great! Gives us chocolate cake!
Click on the title for the link to PT's original post. Read on for my thoughts that are only related to said post in terms of the fact that they are about my Dad:
This post is dedicated to my adorable, goofy Dad. I call him Pappa, actually, and have since I was little. I can remember all of my friends at school looking at me funny because I didn't call him Dad or Daddy. But he wasn't Dad. He wasn't Daddy. He was Pappa. I didn't know why until I was a little older, I just knew that I didn't call him anything but Pappa. My Mom tells me that when they got married, he insisted that no matter what, the children were not going to call him Dad or Daddy, it was going to be Pappa or else they'd call him by his first name, but he wanted them to use the Swedish word. I'm almost 22 and I still can't bring myself to call him anything but Pappa.
Anyhoo, over the years many a person has commented on how much I resemble my dear old Pa, both in terms of looks and personality (I've yet to determine if either way is complimentary, but alas). My Pappa is a character, someone I look up to immensely yet often find myself groaning in embarrassment from in front of other people. Of course, as PT (and Shfira, too, I believe) has said, parents live to embarrass their kids, and I think this is especially true of fathers, because we all know that wives are really second moms to their husbands. ;-)
My Pappa is funny. He's smart. So smart, even, that I kid you not, many of my friends are convinced that he's a spy. Obviously, we will never know, for if he is/was, he cannot tell us about it. But we get a kick out of dreaming up crazy spy stories and adventures for PappaHila to go on, fighting evil and terror worldwide! LOL.
The reason I was inspired to write this post was a conversation I had with my Pappa this weekend. You see, the school I go to has a Dad's Weekend in the fall, and a Mom's Weekend in the spring. So PappaHila came to visit me for the weekend. It is a rare occasion that I get to spend one-on-one time with my pops, so it was a great time. It was especially great to get to talk to him about a variety of things, instead of just the usual things we talk about, like school and financial aid and all the minute details of life. Instead, we had a really interesting and lengthy talk about religion. I guess I've never really talked too much on here about how I've come to want to be Jewish, and I'll save it for another post 'cuz otherwise it'd take forever, but suffice it to say that my Pappa did not grow up being religious at all. He told me this weekend that he pretty much decided around the time of his Confirmation in the Lutheran Church (which used to be the State Church of Sweden, when PappaHila was growing up there) that he thought it was pretty much poppycock and that he wasn't going to swallow all the hoohah that they were trying to push down his throat. Instead, he says, he decided that he'd figure out what religions/G-d/spirituality were all about on his own, in his own way, and on his own terms. Hmmm, so THAT'S where I get my independent/stubborn streak from?? No way!!
So anyway, we were sitting in my dorm room, and he happened to notice the plethora of books on Judaism lining my shelves---I explained that some of them were for classes I had taken/was taking, and that others were just ones I found interesting. And that's when we got to talking about religion, etc. It was interesting to talk to my Pappa about this stuff, because he didn't try to lecture me about wrong vs. right or anything, he didn't try to tell me I was a nutjob for not believing in Jesus, etc. He just listened to me, applauded me for having done my homework and research, and told me that he firmly believes that the most important thing is for someone to find their own path, whatever it may be, that works for them and fulfills whatever needs they have. So, he said, if that means Judaism or Islam or Buddhism, then do it. "I don't have to agree with you to see your point of view." I couldn't agree more. I don't believe anyone else is "wrong" in the sense that they aren't entitled to fulfillment via religious practice just as much as I am because I've picked the "right" religion, I just don't identify/understand their beliefs because they don't make sense to me. And that's ok. It doesn't have to make sense because I've found what does.
I am so lucky that my Pappa is so understanding. Finding where one fits in the world is difficult, and religion/spirituality is often the most controversial one amongst families. Baruch Hashem, my father understands my need to do my own thang, and hasn't tried to make me feel ashamed for following what I believe. I am so lucky.
This post is dedicated to my adorable, goofy Dad. I call him Pappa, actually, and have since I was little. I can remember all of my friends at school looking at me funny because I didn't call him Dad or Daddy. But he wasn't Dad. He wasn't Daddy. He was Pappa. I didn't know why until I was a little older, I just knew that I didn't call him anything but Pappa. My Mom tells me that when they got married, he insisted that no matter what, the children were not going to call him Dad or Daddy, it was going to be Pappa or else they'd call him by his first name, but he wanted them to use the Swedish word. I'm almost 22 and I still can't bring myself to call him anything but Pappa.
Anyhoo, over the years many a person has commented on how much I resemble my dear old Pa, both in terms of looks and personality (I've yet to determine if either way is complimentary, but alas). My Pappa is a character, someone I look up to immensely yet often find myself groaning in embarrassment from in front of other people. Of course, as PT (and Shfira, too, I believe) has said, parents live to embarrass their kids, and I think this is especially true of fathers, because we all know that wives are really second moms to their husbands. ;-)
My Pappa is funny. He's smart. So smart, even, that I kid you not, many of my friends are convinced that he's a spy. Obviously, we will never know, for if he is/was, he cannot tell us about it. But we get a kick out of dreaming up crazy spy stories and adventures for PappaHila to go on, fighting evil and terror worldwide! LOL.
The reason I was inspired to write this post was a conversation I had with my Pappa this weekend. You see, the school I go to has a Dad's Weekend in the fall, and a Mom's Weekend in the spring. So PappaHila came to visit me for the weekend. It is a rare occasion that I get to spend one-on-one time with my pops, so it was a great time. It was especially great to get to talk to him about a variety of things, instead of just the usual things we talk about, like school and financial aid and all the minute details of life. Instead, we had a really interesting and lengthy talk about religion. I guess I've never really talked too much on here about how I've come to want to be Jewish, and I'll save it for another post 'cuz otherwise it'd take forever, but suffice it to say that my Pappa did not grow up being religious at all. He told me this weekend that he pretty much decided around the time of his Confirmation in the Lutheran Church (which used to be the State Church of Sweden, when PappaHila was growing up there) that he thought it was pretty much poppycock and that he wasn't going to swallow all the hoohah that they were trying to push down his throat. Instead, he says, he decided that he'd figure out what religions/G-d/spirituality were all about on his own, in his own way, and on his own terms. Hmmm, so THAT'S where I get my independent/stubborn streak from?? No way!!
So anyway, we were sitting in my dorm room, and he happened to notice the plethora of books on Judaism lining my shelves---I explained that some of them were for classes I had taken/was taking, and that others were just ones I found interesting. And that's when we got to talking about religion, etc. It was interesting to talk to my Pappa about this stuff, because he didn't try to lecture me about wrong vs. right or anything, he didn't try to tell me I was a nutjob for not believing in Jesus, etc. He just listened to me, applauded me for having done my homework and research, and told me that he firmly believes that the most important thing is for someone to find their own path, whatever it may be, that works for them and fulfills whatever needs they have. So, he said, if that means Judaism or Islam or Buddhism, then do it. "I don't have to agree with you to see your point of view." I couldn't agree more. I don't believe anyone else is "wrong" in the sense that they aren't entitled to fulfillment via religious practice just as much as I am because I've picked the "right" religion, I just don't identify/understand their beliefs because they don't make sense to me. And that's ok. It doesn't have to make sense because I've found what does.
I am so lucky that my Pappa is so understanding. Finding where one fits in the world is difficult, and religion/spirituality is often the most controversial one amongst families. Baruch Hashem, my father understands my need to do my own thang, and hasn't tried to make me feel ashamed for following what I believe. I am so lucky.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Public Service Announcement...I promise I'll limit these but this one is too important
I found this little gem when I was being a bum and reading blogs---go figure, right? Well, as I've mentioned before, I'm involved in the anti-rape movement very heavily, and it's a cause that's very important to me. This pretty much sums up the message I give to the literally thousands of students I facilitate workshops for each year. I only hope that somehow, someday, it will get through and sink in.
ONLY RAPISTS CAN PREVENT RAPE
A lot has been said about how to prevent rape. Women should learn self-defense. Women should lock themselves in their houses after dark. Women shouldn't have long hair and women shouldn't wear short skirts. Women shouldn't leave drinks unattended. [F*], they shouldn't dare to get drunk at all. Instead of that [b*s*], how about:
If a woman is drunk, don't rape her.
If a woman is walking alone at night, don't rape her.
If a women is drugged and unconscious, don't rape her.
If a woman is wearing a short skirt, don't rape her.
If a woman is jogging in a park at 5 am, don't rape her.
If a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you're still hung up on, don't rape her.
If a woman is asleep in her bed, don't rape her.
If a woman is asleep in your bed, don't rape her.
If a woman is doing her laundry, don't rape her.
If a woman is in a coma, don't rape her.
If a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don't rape her.
If a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don't rape her.
If a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don't rape her.
If your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don't rape her.
If your step-daughter is watching TV, don't rape her.
If you break into a house and find a woman there, don't rape her.
If your friend thinks it's okay to rape someone, tell him it's not, and that he's not your friend.
If your "friend" tells you he raped someone, report him to the police.
If your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there's an unconscious woman upstairs and it's your turn, don't rape her, call the police and tell the guy he's a rapist.
Tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, sons of friends it's not okay to rape someone.
Don't tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape.
Don't imply that she could have avoided it if she'd only done/not done x.
Don't imply that it's in any way her fault.
Don't let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he "got some" with the drunk girl.
Don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can, too, help yourself.
If you agree, re-post it. It's that important.
Note:
This goes for any gendered rape, male on female or female on male or female on female or FTM on MTF or non gendered to dual gendered and so on and so forth....
-author unknown
ONLY RAPISTS CAN PREVENT RAPE
A lot has been said about how to prevent rape. Women should learn self-defense. Women should lock themselves in their houses after dark. Women shouldn't have long hair and women shouldn't wear short skirts. Women shouldn't leave drinks unattended. [F*], they shouldn't dare to get drunk at all. Instead of that [b*s*], how about:
If a woman is drunk, don't rape her.
If a woman is walking alone at night, don't rape her.
If a women is drugged and unconscious, don't rape her.
If a woman is wearing a short skirt, don't rape her.
If a woman is jogging in a park at 5 am, don't rape her.
If a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you're still hung up on, don't rape her.
If a woman is asleep in her bed, don't rape her.
If a woman is asleep in your bed, don't rape her.
If a woman is doing her laundry, don't rape her.
If a woman is in a coma, don't rape her.
If a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don't rape her.
If a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don't rape her.
If a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don't rape her.
If your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don't rape her.
If your step-daughter is watching TV, don't rape her.
If you break into a house and find a woman there, don't rape her.
If your friend thinks it's okay to rape someone, tell him it's not, and that he's not your friend.
If your "friend" tells you he raped someone, report him to the police.
If your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there's an unconscious woman upstairs and it's your turn, don't rape her, call the police and tell the guy he's a rapist.
Tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, sons of friends it's not okay to rape someone.
Don't tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape.
Don't imply that she could have avoided it if she'd only done/not done x.
Don't imply that it's in any way her fault.
Don't let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he "got some" with the drunk girl.
Don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can, too, help yourself.
If you agree, re-post it. It's that important.
Note:
This goes for any gendered rape, male on female or female on male or female on female or FTM on MTF or non gendered to dual gendered and so on and so forth....
-author unknown
Friday, November 03, 2006
Of cabbages and kings....Or, On Christian Fundamentalists: Man do they bug me!
Tonight I decided to post an interesting conversation I had on instant messenger with one of my dearest friends, whom I'll call Chaya for the sake of this post. I was just soooo fuming stinking mad after reading this stuff that she showed me that I couldn't help but share it. I usually try to be as accepting as possible of other faiths/religions/spiritual paths/lifestyles, but this is just ridiculous...And people wonder why I turned away from Christianity!!!! (Not that I was raised in this kind of Christianity, but you get my drift)...
Note: Some of the language maybe be somewhat offensive to some people, although I don't think it would be considered inappropriate (no cussing or anything). Please keep in mind that this was a conversation between myself and a friend and we were both having very heated reactions to the information we were discovering...
With that said, please enjoy and feel free to add you thoughts and opinions in the comments section!
Chaya: OMG
Chaya: crazy fundie alert
Hila: lol
Hila: wha?
Chaya: http://www.createdtobehishelpmeet.org/
Chaya: also check out this bit of pious wifely duty: http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/index.php?id=75&tx_ttnews[tt_news]=81&tx_ttnews[backPid]=72&cHash=9044220656
Hila: WTF i can just tell from the URL that its fundie
Chaya: hahahhahahaha
Chaya: read that second link. itll blow your mind
Hila: lol
Hila: ok im on it right now
Chaya: the last page is the "best"
Hila: hahah i am waiting for it
Hila: God Hates DIVORCE
Hila: *yikes*
Chaya: more than beating people and raping kids, apparently!
Hila: yup
Hila: and you know what, this wackjob is SOOO wrong
Chaya: im so glad i dont worship that "god"
Hila: yeah no s***
Hila: i mean, divorce in Judaism is perfectly legal
Hila: in fact, husbands HAVE to grant a divorce to their wives if in any way they violate the ketubah (the marriage contract)
Hila: and this is just in a religious context, we're not talking civil
Chaya: right
Chaya: you knwo what i hate about christianity?
Chaya: notice how all the bible they quote is corinthians, romans, etc
Hila: umm i can think of lots of things
Chaya: why should i give a s*** what paul had to say?
Hila: yeah the occasional matthew, mark, luke, john
Hila: why is his word GOSPEL more than any other disciple of jesus over the past 2000 years
Hila: but rare....always corinthians and romans,
Chaya: i thought the gospel was supposed to be frickin jesus
Hila: i did too
Hila: um, maybe paul was really jesus? :-P
Chaya: romans is the one they pull out for the gay bashing, theres one about laying with another man or something
Hila: well its in leviticus ch. 18
Chaya: obviously paul is more important than jesus, he has like 10 books compared to 4
Hila: which is old testament
Chaya: yeah, theres leviticus and romans
Hila: but they fail to quote that because they REFUSE to follow the old testament, unless it suits them
Hila: thats another thing that doesnt make sense
Chaya: but leviticus, well when thees people start refusing to wear clothing made of mixed cloth, and when they keep kosher, ill take them seriously
Hila: they want to include the Old Testament in the "Bible" but refuse to follow it unless it fits their needs...Yeah no kidding! Thats what i was abotu to say!
Chaya: until then theyre just picking and choosing so they can justify hating gay people
Hila: exactly
Hila: there have even been many rabbis who have said that the translation of the words in hebrew in the sentence from Leviticus "Thou shalt not lie with another man as with a woman, it is an abomination/abhorrence" really is not meant to be taken so seriously
Hila: like, its not good because you cant produce children and therefore you're not fulfilling Gods will to the fullest extent, but it doesnt mean that you will be struck down by lightning
Chaya: right... and honestly, is the need to produce children in our civilization as pressing as it was for an ancient civilization that depended on kids for labor and population?
Hila: nope
Hila: and thats another point of judaism---a bit of a conflict amongst orthodox /conservative/reform jews
Hila: but still most jews have realize that our world is over populated as it is
Hila: the main reason ortho families have so many kids is because of the dying Jewish population, not so much because they want to populate the world
Hila: but you know what i mean
Chaya: right
Chaya: yeah and i understand that, but its not like its like "you are a sinner if you dont have 10 kids" like fundies are
Chaya: because its "what god wants"
Chaya: wow: But if your husband has sexually molested the children, you should approach him with it. If he is truly repentant (not just exposed) and is willing to seek counseling, you may feel comfortable giving him an opportunity to prove himself, as long as you know the children are safe. If there is any thought that they are not safe, or if he is not repentant and willing to seek help, then go to the law and have him arrested. Stick by him, but testify against him in court. Have him do about 10 to 20 years, and by the time he gets out, you will have raised the kids, and you can be waiting for him with open arms of forgiveness and restitution.
Hila: ugh see i just closed the page because i couldnt read any more
Hila: i didnt even get that far
Hila: but now i have to read it for myself!
Chaya: thats definitely the worst... theres also advice if you are physically abused. the trick is to be a doormat, and loving and not punish your man so that his heart will be warmed by how loving you are towards him
Chaya: If your abusing husband fully understands that you have the power of the law behind you, he will learn to keep his hands in his pockets. I am not suggesting you do this to be vindictive or to get even with him. It must be done in humility and love. If your husbands knows that you are the weaker vessel, desperately seeking your survival and that of the kids, and that you are not trying to punish him, but that you are going to stand by and continue to love him, that you are going to wait for him to get out of prison and then try to start over again, it may move his heart to fear if not to repentance.
Hila: OMFG
Hila: SERIOUSLY I like want to report this it is soooooooo vile
Hila: I dont know who I would report it to but DAMN
Chaya: i know. what they are advocating is illegal... the part about forgiving your molesting husband because god wants you to... its a felony to knowingly expose kids to a sexual predator
Chaya: this same site has child rearing "advice" which pretty much consists of beating the kids into submission
Chaya: i heard that they had to wait until the kids were adults to publish it for fear of PROSECUCTION
Hila: where did you hear that? i mean abotu the waiting till the kids were adults---and what kids? their own?
Chaya: i think so. someone on my blog said that so i have no corroboration for that statement
Hila: hmmm interesting
Hila: where's the beating part LOL
Hila: these people should be turned into the police
Chaya: http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/index.php?id=35
Chaya: The following article is designed to be used as a resource in defending your faith on Biblical child training. If the Federal or State agencies take me to court over advocating corporal chastisement, this will be part of my defense.
Hila: WTF!!!!!!!!!!
Hila: Oh dear GOD!!!
Hila: who the hell can we tell about this---seriously i want to vomit even more now!
Chaya: i know. the sucky thing about the internet is its not within state boundaries.... i dunno where these wackf***s live, i assume someone has reported them... and im not sure of the law here. i am not sure if writing a book advocating child abuse is illegal, or if youd actually have to have evidence of a real life kid who is abused
Hila: yeah it blows.....grrr, ok, there they go again f****** quoting the Old Testament only when it suits them
Hila: let me tell you, Jewish parents DO NOT HIT THEIR CHILDREN
Chaya: oh god, im sure not
Hila: Maybe in some cases
Chaya: this seems to be a fundy xtian phenomenon
Chaya: i mean im sure some have but not because they thought gawd was telling them to
And that's where I'll leave off with that. Again, I'm sorry to any of you who are offended, or who do not agree with my interpretation/representation of Jewish beliefs. But it's my blog. I can say what I want. Gotta love the internet :-)
Note: Some of the language maybe be somewhat offensive to some people, although I don't think it would be considered inappropriate (no cussing or anything). Please keep in mind that this was a conversation between myself and a friend and we were both having very heated reactions to the information we were discovering...
With that said, please enjoy and feel free to add you thoughts and opinions in the comments section!
Chaya: OMG
Chaya: crazy fundie alert
Hila: lol
Hila: wha?
Chaya: http://www.createdtobehishelpmeet.org/
Chaya: also check out this bit of pious wifely duty: http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/index.php?id=75&tx_ttnews[tt_news]=81&tx_ttnews[backPid]=72&cHash=9044220656
Hila: WTF i can just tell from the URL that its fundie
Chaya: hahahhahahaha
Chaya: read that second link. itll blow your mind
Hila: lol
Hila: ok im on it right now
Chaya: the last page is the "best"
Hila: hahah i am waiting for it
Hila: God Hates DIVORCE
Hila: *yikes*
Chaya: more than beating people and raping kids, apparently!
Hila: yup
Hila: and you know what, this wackjob is SOOO wrong
Chaya: im so glad i dont worship that "god"
Hila: yeah no s***
Hila: i mean, divorce in Judaism is perfectly legal
Hila: in fact, husbands HAVE to grant a divorce to their wives if in any way they violate the ketubah (the marriage contract)
Hila: and this is just in a religious context, we're not talking civil
Chaya: right
Chaya: you knwo what i hate about christianity?
Chaya: notice how all the bible they quote is corinthians, romans, etc
Hila: umm i can think of lots of things
Chaya: why should i give a s*** what paul had to say?
Hila: yeah the occasional matthew, mark, luke, john
Hila: why is his word GOSPEL more than any other disciple of jesus over the past 2000 years
Hila: but rare....always corinthians and romans,
Chaya: i thought the gospel was supposed to be frickin jesus
Hila: i did too
Hila: um, maybe paul was really jesus? :-P
Chaya: romans is the one they pull out for the gay bashing, theres one about laying with another man or something
Hila: well its in leviticus ch. 18
Chaya: obviously paul is more important than jesus, he has like 10 books compared to 4
Hila: which is old testament
Chaya: yeah, theres leviticus and romans
Hila: but they fail to quote that because they REFUSE to follow the old testament, unless it suits them
Hila: thats another thing that doesnt make sense
Chaya: but leviticus, well when thees people start refusing to wear clothing made of mixed cloth, and when they keep kosher, ill take them seriously
Hila: they want to include the Old Testament in the "Bible" but refuse to follow it unless it fits their needs...Yeah no kidding! Thats what i was abotu to say!
Chaya: until then theyre just picking and choosing so they can justify hating gay people
Hila: exactly
Hila: there have even been many rabbis who have said that the translation of the words in hebrew in the sentence from Leviticus "Thou shalt not lie with another man as with a woman, it is an abomination/abhorrence" really is not meant to be taken so seriously
Hila: like, its not good because you cant produce children and therefore you're not fulfilling Gods will to the fullest extent, but it doesnt mean that you will be struck down by lightning
Chaya: right... and honestly, is the need to produce children in our civilization as pressing as it was for an ancient civilization that depended on kids for labor and population?
Hila: nope
Hila: and thats another point of judaism---a bit of a conflict amongst orthodox /conservative/reform jews
Hila: but still most jews have realize that our world is over populated as it is
Hila: the main reason ortho families have so many kids is because of the dying Jewish population, not so much because they want to populate the world
Hila: but you know what i mean
Chaya: right
Chaya: yeah and i understand that, but its not like its like "you are a sinner if you dont have 10 kids" like fundies are
Chaya: because its "what god wants"
Chaya: wow: But if your husband has sexually molested the children, you should approach him with it. If he is truly repentant (not just exposed) and is willing to seek counseling, you may feel comfortable giving him an opportunity to prove himself, as long as you know the children are safe. If there is any thought that they are not safe, or if he is not repentant and willing to seek help, then go to the law and have him arrested. Stick by him, but testify against him in court. Have him do about 10 to 20 years, and by the time he gets out, you will have raised the kids, and you can be waiting for him with open arms of forgiveness and restitution.
Hila: ugh see i just closed the page because i couldnt read any more
Hila: i didnt even get that far
Hila: but now i have to read it for myself!
Chaya: thats definitely the worst... theres also advice if you are physically abused. the trick is to be a doormat, and loving and not punish your man so that his heart will be warmed by how loving you are towards him
Chaya: If your abusing husband fully understands that you have the power of the law behind you, he will learn to keep his hands in his pockets. I am not suggesting you do this to be vindictive or to get even with him. It must be done in humility and love. If your husbands knows that you are the weaker vessel, desperately seeking your survival and that of the kids, and that you are not trying to punish him, but that you are going to stand by and continue to love him, that you are going to wait for him to get out of prison and then try to start over again, it may move his heart to fear if not to repentance.
Hila: OMFG
Hila: SERIOUSLY I like want to report this it is soooooooo vile
Hila: I dont know who I would report it to but DAMN
Chaya: i know. what they are advocating is illegal... the part about forgiving your molesting husband because god wants you to... its a felony to knowingly expose kids to a sexual predator
Chaya: this same site has child rearing "advice" which pretty much consists of beating the kids into submission
Chaya: i heard that they had to wait until the kids were adults to publish it for fear of PROSECUCTION
Hila: where did you hear that? i mean abotu the waiting till the kids were adults---and what kids? their own?
Chaya: i think so. someone on my blog said that so i have no corroboration for that statement
Hila: hmmm interesting
Hila: where's the beating part LOL
Hila: these people should be turned into the police
Chaya: http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/index.php?id=35
Chaya: The following article is designed to be used as a resource in defending your faith on Biblical child training. If the Federal or State agencies take me to court over advocating corporal chastisement, this will be part of my defense.
Hila: WTF!!!!!!!!!!
Hila: Oh dear GOD!!!
Hila: who the hell can we tell about this---seriously i want to vomit even more now!
Chaya: i know. the sucky thing about the internet is its not within state boundaries.... i dunno where these wackf***s live, i assume someone has reported them... and im not sure of the law here. i am not sure if writing a book advocating child abuse is illegal, or if youd actually have to have evidence of a real life kid who is abused
Hila: yeah it blows.....grrr, ok, there they go again f****** quoting the Old Testament only when it suits them
Hila: let me tell you, Jewish parents DO NOT HIT THEIR CHILDREN
Chaya: oh god, im sure not
Hila: Maybe in some cases
Chaya: this seems to be a fundy xtian phenomenon
Chaya: i mean im sure some have but not because they thought gawd was telling them to
And that's where I'll leave off with that. Again, I'm sorry to any of you who are offended, or who do not agree with my interpretation/representation of Jewish beliefs. But it's my blog. I can say what I want. Gotta love the internet :-)
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