back to school....back to school

back to school...back to school

Definitely have the song from "Billy madison" in my head...

School started last week, and already it feels like I've been here for 2 months! So much reading to do, I think my eyes are going to pop right out of my head. Guess that's what being an upperclassman is all about...:-
Missed Shabbat services at shul last week, which was sad. The first Shabbat back @ school is always so exciting, so I'm disappointed that I couldn't go, but I had to go home-home in the afternoon so oh well.

Loving where I'm living so far this year, so that's a plus :-) I also like my classes (for the most part) which will make actually going easier. LOL. I'm taking a really interesting class all about Jewish culture & customs, which is going to be fabulous. I loved the professor from a class I had with him last year, and I can tell I'm really gonna love this class because it's everything I've been wanting to learn about but haven't had the chance/resources to do so. And hey, what a great excuse to buy a Siddur and a great book all about the Jewish Holidays??? I even splurged and bought a book I saw that was listed as required reading for another one of this particular professor's classes, the Jewish Study Bible: TaNaKh Translation :-D heheheh *chuckles gleefully*

I really wish I knew how to actually put links to things in here like Chana and RenReb and Shifra and all the other "cool" J-bloggers do. Hmmm....Cha-na! *calls to Chana for help* heheheh sorry girl, you got suckered in! JK JK


Anyway, time to get back to the reading...Take care, everyone!!!


~Hila~

so sad...

Today is a "crying day" for me...


With all that is going on between Israel and Lebanon and everything, I just cannot seem to keep track of it all and it boggles my mind to no end...Add to that the fact that I have been working 24/7 (well not quite, but it sure seems like it)...So I don't have much time to keep up on the latest info. Of course it doesn't help that the news coverage around here isn't the greatest (suffice it to say that where I live, the Jewish population isn't exactly large and therefore, almost invisible...)

Anyway, that's not the point...I mean, it is important and it upsets me, but it isn't the only thing that's been on my mind lately... Mostly I have been sad that I haven't been able to study or learn any more about Judaism than what I had when I was still at school for the year. Not that that's anyone's fault but my own, but it makes me sad. Every day I want to learn something more, something that will bring me closer in my path towards Hashem.

I suppose I do learn something every day, through the blogs I read (goodness I've become addicted!) and the vast learning tool known as the World Wide Web :-)...but it isn't the same, somehow. I guess I don't feel like I've "learned" something until I've had an actual conversation with someone about it, until I've asked my questions and gotten some answers. But I feel so stupid sometimes, some of the questions I have seem so trivial and unimportant, and I have no clue who I should even ask.

My other big concern lately is finding a rabbi to actually help me convert...One would think that wouldn't be too much of a problem, seeing as there are plenty of rabbis who help conversion candidates all over the country. However, where I live...well, it doesn't exactly have a large Jewish community, and it certainly does not have a large Orthodox community. I mean, don't get my wrong, the rabbi at my shul at University is great--I've studied with him and the rebbetzin, and they have been more than happy to answer my questions...But the rabbi isn't certified/qualified (I don't really know he just told me he isn't authorized to do conversions) so I'm still sort of at square one. Hmph...

I suppose all of this sounds pretty pathetic, but hey, it's my blog and I can write about whatever I want. So there. :-P



Well, I suppose that's all for today...Time to get ready for work (again) :::sigh:::


PS: Shout out to Chana for helping me figure out how to delete/moderate comments--thanks a bunch!! :-)

hmm

well, as you can see i haven't updated this since i started it...*sigh* i've been so busy with working and everything that i haven't had time...oh well...

lots of things going on...wishing i was able to study more, missing shul because of work really sucks...can't wait to be back at school where i can be with all of my awesome jewish friends and talking to the rabbi and rebbetzin again :-)

had to have a fasting blood sugar test done this morning so i am starving---time to go eat some food. take care everyone!

hila

beginnings

So this is my attempt at making an "anonymous blog" seeing as how all the other ones I've had until this point have been pretty obviously mine...

I wanted a space where I could write about my spiritual journey and my path towards converting to Judaism. I wanted a place to say "this is who I am and this is why I have chosen this path" without fearing the repercussions such statements would have on myself and my family.


I wanted a place where I could sort out my wide array of personal contradictions, particularly my "culture clash" issues with being from a mixed heritage family and choosing a religion that no one in my family ever has.

I'm not looking for a huge fan base or any kind of ego boost, just
"putting my feelers out" to see if there really is life out there....

So that's it, in a nutshell. I hope that in finding an outlet for all of my random thoughts I may help someone else out there who is struggling to find a place in this world, to find out where his/her God is in all of this seemingly random string of events we call life...I know that my struggles and questions are not uniquely my own at their very essence: Why am I here? Why am I questioning what I know of God? Where should I go? What can I do? How do I do it?

Anyone who is questioning their religious/spiritual path/upbringing has these questions, not just those who wish to convert to Judaism, as I have chosen to do.

I also hope that this blog will be a way for me to find out more about the religious path I have decided to follow, and will help me better understand and follow God in all aspects of Jewish life.