The following is a comment I left on Elie's site. I'd link to it but blogger is not letting me put in links at the moment. Pfft!
Very interesting topic, indeed. As a ger (in the process) I don't have parents or grandparents or anyone to name me. I go by Hila because my dear friend from Israel, Keren, said that I should have it as my Hebrew name because it means "halo" like an angel's halo--and that it fits me not only because my "real" name starts with an H, but also I am very blonde much like the gold of the halo of an angel, and that also my personality is very sweet. I'd say she was just sweet-talking me but I don't know what that would have gotten her ;-)
This past Shabbos I was having a chat with some friends and somehow my Hebrew name came up. All the rest of my friends said, no no we should give you a different name. So now the new rabbi (Ed. Note: by new rabbi I mean the potential replacement rabbi for our Hillel) and everyone is all about finding me a Hebrew name.
Addition: The rabbi asked me what kind of name I was wanting, if it mattered if it started with the same letter as my "real" name, etc. I said I wanted something with meaning, something representative of my personality and my own journey to Judaism. He suggested several lovely names, as did some of my close friends, including Noa, Ora, Hadassah, Nediva, and Zahavah. What do you all think? Please post opinions/ideas/suggestions for potential names in the comments section or e-mail me :-)
When my conversion is complete, I am not sure whether I want to take the traditional ____ bat Avraham Avienu v' Sarah Imenu. It's not that I don't want to be known as a convert/ger/ Jew-by-choice, but because I think I would feel a deeper connection if I could have "adoptive" Jewish parents. Maybe the rabbi and my tutor. Just a thought.
What are your opinions on that bit as well? I know it is a somewhat new and "controversial" thing but I read about it in Anita Diamant's book "Choosing a Jewish Life" and it struck me. I don't want to offend anyone, and of course I would be beyond honored to have Abraham and Sarah as my spiritual parents, but part of me also feels like I would have a deeper connection to everything if I could "adopt" Jewish parents. Let me know what you think, I value all of your opinions and insight!
-Hila (or ???)
Showing posts with label Judaism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Judaism. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Thursday, April 05, 2007
My First Passover Seder
Hello there J-bloggers! Sorry it has been an eternity since I've posted--I'm sure the 2 people who actually read this have since given up on me! School has kept me so stinkin' busy lately that I haven't had time to sit down and write anything worth reading. I'll post an update about what's been going on lately sometime in the next couple of days. For now, I thought I'd share my first Pesach experience.
You see, I "officially" decided to convert to Judaism in the Fall of 2005. In the Spring of 2006, I had to move home for various reasons, and did so right around Purim. Being from a small town (I mean reaaaallly small--4000 people give or take) there aren't any other Jews, let alone a shul. Anyway, suffice it to say that there wasn't really a way to get to a seder or do anything for Passover last year. So this year was my first official seder. (Ok yes I know there are seders on the first two nights, so I really mean my first two, but whatever, it sounds awkward)
Anyhoo... I don't really know what I want to write here. I mean, y'all know how the whole deal works so it's not like I have to explain it. I guess it was just an interesting experience for me. It was a "homestyle" seder so it was a combination of Hebrew and English---thank goodness for me because my Hebrew reading is slooooow! It was relaxed and fun yet meaningful and spiritual at the same time. There were students from all different backgrounds, so I didn't feel lost and everyone was like "Mazel tov that this is your first Pesach seder."
Just reason 5,30481 why I love Judaism and Jews :-)
Chag Sameach everyone! Hope your Pesach has gone off without a hitch so far
-Hila
You see, I "officially" decided to convert to Judaism in the Fall of 2005. In the Spring of 2006, I had to move home for various reasons, and did so right around Purim. Being from a small town (I mean reaaaallly small--4000 people give or take) there aren't any other Jews, let alone a shul. Anyway, suffice it to say that there wasn't really a way to get to a seder or do anything for Passover last year. So this year was my first official seder. (Ok yes I know there are seders on the first two nights, so I really mean my first two, but whatever, it sounds awkward)
Anyhoo... I don't really know what I want to write here. I mean, y'all know how the whole deal works so it's not like I have to explain it. I guess it was just an interesting experience for me. It was a "homestyle" seder so it was a combination of Hebrew and English---thank goodness for me because my Hebrew reading is slooooow! It was relaxed and fun yet meaningful and spiritual at the same time. There were students from all different backgrounds, so I didn't feel lost and everyone was like "Mazel tov that this is your first Pesach seder."
Just reason 5,30481 why I love Judaism and Jews :-)
Chag Sameach everyone! Hope your Pesach has gone off without a hitch so far
-Hila
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Jews in the Media
Ok folkies, I'll admit that this post is probably not going to rate high on the "interesting" scale, but what can ya do? It's from one of those diary entry thingies that I've been doing for my Religious Studies classes--so there you go. Inspiration for this post came from this site
Emblems and symbols of Judaism seem to be more and more apparent in American television and pop-culture these days. It has been talked about for quite some time that Jews are over-represented in the performing arts--there are only about 6 million Jews in the United States. The new trend, however, is people who are not Jewish playing with dreidels, using Yiddish words as slang, and otherwise displaying bits of Jewish culture without actually identifying as Jewish. The television show, "The Knights of Prosperity" features the cast members in a Judaica shop in Queens--they are Black, Indian, Latina, Italian, and Irish. On "Grey's Anatomy" Sandra Oh plays Dr. Cristina Yang, who identifies as Jewish when helping her castmates through the ritual known as shiva even though she only sees her Jewish stepfather on Yom Kippur and openly admits that she is not religious. Celebrities such as Madonna and Demi Moore sport Kabbalah bracelets and have gotten into Jewish mysticism. Yet there seem to be few characters who are fully Jewish who are able to embrace their heritage and faith in the media. Sure, there are those comedians and actors such as Fran Drescher and Adam Sandler--but even they are portrayed in such a kitschy, over-the-top manner that they are not allowed to be viewed as "normal". What does this say about our culture? Are we just trying to be inclusive--or are we compensating for the overwhelming amount of anti-Semitism all around us?
-Hila
Emblems and symbols of Judaism seem to be more and more apparent in American television and pop-culture these days. It has been talked about for quite some time that Jews are over-represented in the performing arts--there are only about 6 million Jews in the United States. The new trend, however, is people who are not Jewish playing with dreidels, using Yiddish words as slang, and otherwise displaying bits of Jewish culture without actually identifying as Jewish. The television show, "The Knights of Prosperity" features the cast members in a Judaica shop in Queens--they are Black, Indian, Latina, Italian, and Irish. On "Grey's Anatomy" Sandra Oh plays Dr. Cristina Yang, who identifies as Jewish when helping her castmates through the ritual known as shiva even though she only sees her Jewish stepfather on Yom Kippur and openly admits that she is not religious. Celebrities such as Madonna and Demi Moore sport Kabbalah bracelets and have gotten into Jewish mysticism. Yet there seem to be few characters who are fully Jewish who are able to embrace their heritage and faith in the media. Sure, there are those comedians and actors such as Fran Drescher and Adam Sandler--but even they are portrayed in such a kitschy, over-the-top manner that they are not allowed to be viewed as "normal". What does this say about our culture? Are we just trying to be inclusive--or are we compensating for the overwhelming amount of anti-Semitism all around us?
-Hila
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Shabbos Goy
Editor's note: I had to restart my computer because it spazzed on me so I lost most of this post. Please bear with me as I try to remember what I had written. Enjoy :-)
The inspiration for this post came about 8 minutes before Shabbos. You see, as most of you know, I am observant and religious, even though I am not "technically" Jewish since I am not finished with my conversion process. I don't have a piece of paper that "proves" I'm a Jew, but I am.That does not mean that, in every other sense, I am not Jewish. I am a Jewess. And I know that Hashem knows it. So my question is, why, if almost everyone I know sees my spiritual and religious growth and wants to help me with it, there are still some people who take the opportunity to point out the fact that, indeed, I am not "technically" Jewish?
I am having trouble writing this. I don't know how to say what I want to say without sounding rude or mean or just plain foolish.
Anyway, I guess I'll just get on with it. So 8 minutes before Shabbos, the Rebbetzin calls me. I had no idea who was calling me right before Shabbos, but since I didn't recognize the number I figured it was probably pretty darn important. So I answer, and it's the Rebbetzin. And she's like "Hila, it's is Elana*. I know this will probably sound like a really strange question, but I have something to ask you." At this point, I have a slight inkling of what might follow, but am still pretty much in the dark. She continues "Do you have any plans for tomorrow?" Riiiight, I think to myself, I can see where this is heading. Sigh. "I was wondering if you could come to my home tomorrow and help me walk to [our shul]. I would need you to push the double stroller with Zahava* and Eytan* in it, and Reut* and I would walk with you."
*pause for me to process said request*
Another sigh.
Anyway, the conversation continues for a couple of minutes, with Elana asking me if I mind helping her, and if I have anything going on, to which I reply that I was planning on meeting some people for lunch around 1 but that other than said lunch I was free for all of Shabbat. She continued to explain to me that she and the Rabbi just got the go-ahead from their Rav to (in essence, hire a Shabbos Goy, although those are my words, not hers). She continued by saying that of course, she would pay me for my time spent getting to and from their house and the time walking/pushing the stroller. I said I understood. She then asked if I have a car. In almost utter disbelief, I said no, as a matter of fact I do not. As if that matters? If I had a car I sure as heck wouldn’t be driving it on a Saturday afternoon! *grumble* She seemed a bit taken aback/upset by this, as she further explained to me where her home is located, which is about 1.5 miles from where I live (and I live about a block from shul). I reassured her that it was not a big deal, that I would walk to her house and meet her there. Because at this point, as you can now guess, I agreed. I don’t know why I agreed, it was one of those split second decisions you make where you just go “Ok, sure, yeah.” I couldn’t help it. I’m a helper. And Lord knows that Rebbetzin Elana is just about the most pure-hearted, kindest, warmest person I have ever met. So when she asked for my help, long before she even explained what it was that she wanted me to do, I immediately agreed. Of course, I was disappointed when I heard just what it was that she wanted me to do, to say the least.
Ok, I’ll give. I know that she isn’t around our shul that much, what with three small children and all, but it isn’t as if she doesn’t know me. I’ve baby-sat her kids, for goodness’ sakes! So anyway, I know, she probably doesn’t realize just how religious I am, because I don’t wear skirts and long sleeves every day, I sing in public, and don’t have any qualms about sitting next to men. All that being said, however, I am trying my hardest to be Orthodox. Or maybe I’m Conservadox. Either way, Shabbat is special to me. I do my absolute best, in my own bumbling and accident-prone way, to observe it exactly as it should be. Granted, I know I mess up. Hashem knows I mess up. And I think I’m forgiven. I mean, theoretically it doesn’t “matter” anyway, since I’m not “official” yet. But that’s the thing. It does matter. To me, it matters.
And it almost broke my heart when I realized what she wanted me to do. To break the laws of Shabbat. Oh Lord, oh Lord, what had I done? What had I agreed to? An overwhelming urge came over me to say “Listen, I’m sorry Elana, but I simply cannot do this.’ But I didn’t have the heart, after hearing how it had been 2 ½ years since she had been able to get out of the house on Shabbat, and how she wouldn’t have asked but she was desperate and didn’t know who else to call. Of course the part about not knowing who to call/being desperate was what hooked me in the first place, before I was told just what it was I’d agreed to.
Don’t get me wrong. I love Elana; she is the best. And I am always happy to help her and her family in any way I can. I just never thought this would be one of the ways.
I’m stuck. On the one hand, I am grateful to have the opportunity to help out Elana and her family, because I know that she was truly grateful to me for the help. On the other hand, I am saddened because I broke the laws of Shabbat and it wasn’t a matter of pekuach nefesh, not in the slightest. But then again, I find myself asking “what does it matter anyway?” And then I feel defeated. And small. I feel as if I am back at square one again, asking God what it is I am supposed to be doing and where I am supposed to be going. I’m lost. I suppose it really isn’t that big of a deal and I’m probably just blowing things out of proportion. I know that the Rebbetzin did not mean any offense or insult to me in any way, shape, or form. She simply isn’t capable of it, that much I do know. That still doesn’t change the fact that I was crestfallen when I learned what I had agreed to. But I believe that it would have been far worse to break my promise to such a great family than the injury to what I realize is, ultimately, my pride. But it isn’t just my pride, it’s my soul, my spirit, that have been wounded, if ever-so-slightly. I’ll get over it, and I realize that it is not the end of the world. Yet I cannot help but wonder
“Why did she have to ask me?”
*Names have been changed to protect identities.
The inspiration for this post came about 8 minutes before Shabbos. You see, as most of you know, I am observant and religious, even though I am not "technically" Jewish since I am not finished with my conversion process. I don't have a piece of paper that "proves" I'm a Jew, but I am.That does not mean that, in every other sense, I am not Jewish. I am a Jewess. And I know that Hashem knows it. So my question is, why, if almost everyone I know sees my spiritual and religious growth and wants to help me with it, there are still some people who take the opportunity to point out the fact that, indeed, I am not "technically" Jewish?
I am having trouble writing this. I don't know how to say what I want to say without sounding rude or mean or just plain foolish.
Anyway, I guess I'll just get on with it. So 8 minutes before Shabbos, the Rebbetzin calls me. I had no idea who was calling me right before Shabbos, but since I didn't recognize the number I figured it was probably pretty darn important. So I answer, and it's the Rebbetzin. And she's like "Hila, it's is Elana*. I know this will probably sound like a really strange question, but I have something to ask you." At this point, I have a slight inkling of what might follow, but am still pretty much in the dark. She continues "Do you have any plans for tomorrow?" Riiiight, I think to myself, I can see where this is heading. Sigh. "I was wondering if you could come to my home tomorrow and help me walk to [our shul]. I would need you to push the double stroller with Zahava* and Eytan* in it, and Reut* and I would walk with you."
*pause for me to process said request*
Another sigh.
Anyway, the conversation continues for a couple of minutes, with Elana asking me if I mind helping her, and if I have anything going on, to which I reply that I was planning on meeting some people for lunch around 1 but that other than said lunch I was free for all of Shabbat. She continued to explain to me that she and the Rabbi just got the go-ahead from their Rav to (in essence, hire a Shabbos Goy, although those are my words, not hers). She continued by saying that of course, she would pay me for my time spent getting to and from their house and the time walking/pushing the stroller. I said I understood. She then asked if I have a car. In almost utter disbelief, I said no, as a matter of fact I do not. As if that matters? If I had a car I sure as heck wouldn’t be driving it on a Saturday afternoon! *grumble* She seemed a bit taken aback/upset by this, as she further explained to me where her home is located, which is about 1.5 miles from where I live (and I live about a block from shul). I reassured her that it was not a big deal, that I would walk to her house and meet her there. Because at this point, as you can now guess, I agreed. I don’t know why I agreed, it was one of those split second decisions you make where you just go “Ok, sure, yeah.” I couldn’t help it. I’m a helper. And Lord knows that Rebbetzin Elana is just about the most pure-hearted, kindest, warmest person I have ever met. So when she asked for my help, long before she even explained what it was that she wanted me to do, I immediately agreed. Of course, I was disappointed when I heard just what it was that she wanted me to do, to say the least.
Ok, I’ll give. I know that she isn’t around our shul that much, what with three small children and all, but it isn’t as if she doesn’t know me. I’ve baby-sat her kids, for goodness’ sakes! So anyway, I know, she probably doesn’t realize just how religious I am, because I don’t wear skirts and long sleeves every day, I sing in public, and don’t have any qualms about sitting next to men. All that being said, however, I am trying my hardest to be Orthodox. Or maybe I’m Conservadox. Either way, Shabbat is special to me. I do my absolute best, in my own bumbling and accident-prone way, to observe it exactly as it should be. Granted, I know I mess up. Hashem knows I mess up. And I think I’m forgiven. I mean, theoretically it doesn’t “matter” anyway, since I’m not “official” yet. But that’s the thing. It does matter. To me, it matters.
And it almost broke my heart when I realized what she wanted me to do. To break the laws of Shabbat. Oh Lord, oh Lord, what had I done? What had I agreed to? An overwhelming urge came over me to say “Listen, I’m sorry Elana, but I simply cannot do this.’ But I didn’t have the heart, after hearing how it had been 2 ½ years since she had been able to get out of the house on Shabbat, and how she wouldn’t have asked but she was desperate and didn’t know who else to call. Of course the part about not knowing who to call/being desperate was what hooked me in the first place, before I was told just what it was I’d agreed to.
Don’t get me wrong. I love Elana; she is the best. And I am always happy to help her and her family in any way I can. I just never thought this would be one of the ways.
I’m stuck. On the one hand, I am grateful to have the opportunity to help out Elana and her family, because I know that she was truly grateful to me for the help. On the other hand, I am saddened because I broke the laws of Shabbat and it wasn’t a matter of pekuach nefesh, not in the slightest. But then again, I find myself asking “what does it matter anyway?” And then I feel defeated. And small. I feel as if I am back at square one again, asking God what it is I am supposed to be doing and where I am supposed to be going. I’m lost. I suppose it really isn’t that big of a deal and I’m probably just blowing things out of proportion. I know that the Rebbetzin did not mean any offense or insult to me in any way, shape, or form. She simply isn’t capable of it, that much I do know. That still doesn’t change the fact that I was crestfallen when I learned what I had agreed to. But I believe that it would have been far worse to break my promise to such a great family than the injury to what I realize is, ultimately, my pride. But it isn’t just my pride, it’s my soul, my spirit, that have been wounded, if ever-so-slightly. I’ll get over it, and I realize that it is not the end of the world. Yet I cannot help but wonder
“Why did she have to ask me?”
*Names have been changed to protect identities.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Relief
Chag Sameach!!! Hope everyone is enjoying Sukkot!! Shabbat/Erev Sukkot was such a great time! Had a lovely service that I actually got to help with, which was such a joy! We had some students from a group on campus that basically study other cultures/religions to learn about them and help with multicultural relations, so I got to speak with them and explain some of the customs of Shabbat, as well as the whole Sukkot business. It's funny that I was one of the people to speak to these kids, 'cuz often I feel like I don't know nearly as much as the rest of the people at services, but they keep telling me that I know more about Judaism than they do, so go figure! Either way it feels good to share the beautiful parts about Jewish life with another person!
Tonight we had Hebrew convo class w/ our Israel Fellow...He is SOOOO funny! I can't help but laugh when I'm around him---bless his heart, his English is so cute!!! And his girlfriend is just adorable! I can't get enough of the two of them!
After the class, I skipped back to shul for hookah in the sukkah....So much fun! We had a really great turn out, too!
Things are going well here. Lots of school work to keep up with, but I'm feeling pretty good about it all. Working on getting in better shape/losing weight hasn't been going so great lately with all the holiday food I've been eating, but hopefully I'll be back on track soon! I hope everyone is happy and healthy!
Hila
Tonight we had Hebrew convo class w/ our Israel Fellow...He is SOOOO funny! I can't help but laugh when I'm around him---bless his heart, his English is so cute!!! And his girlfriend is just adorable! I can't get enough of the two of them!
After the class, I skipped back to shul for hookah in the sukkah....So much fun! We had a really great turn out, too!
Things are going well here. Lots of school work to keep up with, but I'm feeling pretty good about it all. Working on getting in better shape/losing weight hasn't been going so great lately with all the holiday food I've been eating, but hopefully I'll be back on track soon! I hope everyone is happy and healthy!
Hila
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Yom Kippur, etc...
Gmar Chatima Tova! I hope everyone had a safe and easy fast. While I don't want to come off sounding like I'm bragging, I want to say that I am very proud of myself because I did manage to fast the whole time this time! I won't go into detail, but that's a big big big deal for me because I have some serious medical issues that require I take medicine which in turn requires that I eat, but after careful consideration I decided I would try and get through it and only eat if I absolutely had to (don't tell my doctor, he'd shoot me!) *evil laugh*
Anyhooooooo....What's new? Well, besides the fact that school=my life right now, not much. Learning more each and every day, trying to be a better person, etc. You know, the usual. Reading everyone else's blogs while not updating my own. I have to admit I'm not as techno-savvy as I thought I was! Darn.... Definitely need to read up on HTML coding, etc...
Oh, in good news, I have requested my official conversion application form---yes, this is it people, I'mma do it now!!!! :-D I have been wanting for so long to actually start the official Orthodox conversion process, but so many things seemed to be standing in my way. That changed this Rosh Hashanah, however, when I was introduced to someone (who shall of course remain nameless) who took the time to guide me in the right direction and help me get things sorted out that I needed in order to begin my "real" journey. See my first post as to why actually starting the official process would be/is difficult for me. (Main problem being lack of Ortho community around where I go to school/live---long drive to nearest place and I don't have a car) Baruch Hashem someone amazing who is on the same path as I am (has been practicing Judaism/exploring it for a bit of time but hadn't actually made the formal attempt to convert until now) has offered to let me accompany her on trips to the city-where- ojews-actually- live for Shabbat/classes. How amazing I feel about this!!! I cannot even describe it to you. I know some of you out there do not understand why anyone would want to convert to Judaism, and Orthodox Judaism in particular, and I can appreciate that. I did not understand that it was what I wanted myself when I first started studying religion. All I can say is that my soul truly feels at home among the Jewish people, I identify with the culture, the community, and most importantly, the religion. I have never felt so genuinely at peace than when I am davening and when I am at shul/amongst Jews. To those who read this and feel that I have no right to ask to be accepted among you, I ask for compassion to understand a "lost soul" who is making her way home. I in no way want to offend anyone, and if I have done so, or ever do so, please correct me.
*pause to wipe eyes* Yikes...See, this is what I mean, I get SUPER EMOTIONAL when I try and articulate my feelings about Judaism. I have never felt this before (and I wasn't raised without religion at all---quite the contrary, actually) I believe my soul was present at Mt.Sinai just like every Jewish soul that ever was or ever will be. I know it is true because my soul sings when I am among Jews, when I daven, when I perform every mitzvot of daily life. I am truly in awe of Hashem and I am so excited to be on this journey. And wow do I sound like some evangelical Christian whacko right-wing nut job on TBN right now!!! Wow, please excuse me. It's just my emotions are so overwhelming and this is where I choose to let them flow. So please understand. Or don't---that's your choice :-)
So, uh, yeah, anyway, I really feel like Hashem is opening up new doors for me in the form of the amazing people that are being brought into my life, and the wonderful things that have happened to me just in the past week or so. I am hoping to live up to the expectations he has for me, and to do my best to honor all of my commitments in the coming year. I hope everyone will be inscribed and sealed in the Book of Life for a healthy and prosperous year!
Anyhooooooo....What's new? Well, besides the fact that school=my life right now, not much. Learning more each and every day, trying to be a better person, etc. You know, the usual. Reading everyone else's blogs while not updating my own. I have to admit I'm not as techno-savvy as I thought I was! Darn.... Definitely need to read up on HTML coding, etc...
Oh, in good news, I have requested my official conversion application form---yes, this is it people, I'mma do it now!!!! :-D I have been wanting for so long to actually start the official Orthodox conversion process, but so many things seemed to be standing in my way. That changed this Rosh Hashanah, however, when I was introduced to someone (who shall of course remain nameless) who took the time to guide me in the right direction and help me get things sorted out that I needed in order to begin my "real" journey. See my first post as to why actually starting the official process would be/is difficult for me. (Main problem being lack of Ortho community around where I go to school/live---long drive to nearest place and I don't have a car) Baruch Hashem someone amazing who is on the same path as I am (has been practicing Judaism/exploring it for a bit of time but hadn't actually made the formal attempt to convert until now) has offered to let me accompany her on trips to the city-where- ojews-actually- live for Shabbat/classes. How amazing I feel about this!!! I cannot even describe it to you. I know some of you out there do not understand why anyone would want to convert to Judaism, and Orthodox Judaism in particular, and I can appreciate that. I did not understand that it was what I wanted myself when I first started studying religion. All I can say is that my soul truly feels at home among the Jewish people, I identify with the culture, the community, and most importantly, the religion. I have never felt so genuinely at peace than when I am davening and when I am at shul/amongst Jews. To those who read this and feel that I have no right to ask to be accepted among you, I ask for compassion to understand a "lost soul" who is making her way home. I in no way want to offend anyone, and if I have done so, or ever do so, please correct me.
*pause to wipe eyes* Yikes...See, this is what I mean, I get SUPER EMOTIONAL when I try and articulate my feelings about Judaism. I have never felt this before (and I wasn't raised without religion at all---quite the contrary, actually) I believe my soul was present at Mt.Sinai just like every Jewish soul that ever was or ever will be. I know it is true because my soul sings when I am among Jews, when I daven, when I perform every mitzvot of daily life. I am truly in awe of Hashem and I am so excited to be on this journey. And wow do I sound like some evangelical Christian whacko right-wing nut job on TBN right now!!! Wow, please excuse me. It's just my emotions are so overwhelming and this is where I choose to let them flow. So please understand. Or don't---that's your choice :-)
So, uh, yeah, anyway, I really feel like Hashem is opening up new doors for me in the form of the amazing people that are being brought into my life, and the wonderful things that have happened to me just in the past week or so. I am hoping to live up to the expectations he has for me, and to do my best to honor all of my commitments in the coming year. I hope everyone will be inscribed and sealed in the Book of Life for a healthy and prosperous year!
Friday, May 12, 2006
beginnings
So this is my attempt at making an "anonymous blog" seeing as how all the other ones I've had until this point have been pretty obviously mine...
I wanted a space where I could write about my spiritual journey and my path towards converting to Judaism. I wanted a place to say "this is who I am and this is why I have chosen this path" without fearing the repercussions such statements would have on myself and my family.
I wanted a place where I could sort out my wide array of personal contradictions, particularly my "culture clash" issues with being from a mixed heritage family and choosing a religion that no one in my family ever has.
I'm not looking for a huge fan base or any kind of ego boost, just
"putting my feelers out" to see if there really is life out there....
So that's it, in a nutshell. I hope that in finding an outlet for all of my random thoughts I may help someone else out there who is struggling to find a place in this world, to find out where his/her God is in all of this seemingly random string of events we call life...I know that my struggles and questions are not uniquely my own at their very essence: Why am I here? Why am I questioning what I know of God? Where should I go? What can I do? How do I do it?
Anyone who is questioning their religious/spiritual path/upbringing has these questions, not just those who wish to convert to Judaism, as I have chosen to do.
I also hope that this blog will be a way for me to find out more about the religious path I have decided to follow, and will help me better understand and follow God in all aspects of Jewish life.
I wanted a space where I could write about my spiritual journey and my path towards converting to Judaism. I wanted a place to say "this is who I am and this is why I have chosen this path" without fearing the repercussions such statements would have on myself and my family.
I wanted a place where I could sort out my wide array of personal contradictions, particularly my "culture clash" issues with being from a mixed heritage family and choosing a religion that no one in my family ever has.
I'm not looking for a huge fan base or any kind of ego boost, just
"putting my feelers out" to see if there really is life out there....
So that's it, in a nutshell. I hope that in finding an outlet for all of my random thoughts I may help someone else out there who is struggling to find a place in this world, to find out where his/her God is in all of this seemingly random string of events we call life...I know that my struggles and questions are not uniquely my own at their very essence: Why am I here? Why am I questioning what I know of God? Where should I go? What can I do? How do I do it?
Anyone who is questioning their religious/spiritual path/upbringing has these questions, not just those who wish to convert to Judaism, as I have chosen to do.
I also hope that this blog will be a way for me to find out more about the religious path I have decided to follow, and will help me better understand and follow God in all aspects of Jewish life.
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